Stop Trying

Last year while watching a Joyce Meyer podcast, I realized I needed to stop trying to do things in my life. I'll explain.

Whenever there was a task to be done wherein I either didn't know whether or not I'd be successful or I simply didn't want to be bothered with it at that moment, I'd say, "I'll try." This left plenty of wiggle room and a shelter from accountability. Watching Joyce instruct her audience to "just stop trying and just do it" seemed extremely empowering.

However, learning something and thinking it makes sense, still doesn't make it a personal conviction. I literally told myself, "I'm going to try to stop trying and just do it!" I'm fully aware of the oxymoronic logic there. But, at the time that seemed reasonable enough.

Continue ruminating...

Beans and Biscuits

For the past 2 years, I've been on a rather intense journey to get myself in alignment with what I consider to be God's plan for me. Deeming this period of life one that requires immense concentration, I've sometimes left myself blind to the things going on with people I'm not intimately close with. Two such people would be Beans and Biscuits*.

Continue ruminating...

Up In The Air

Last Friday, The Chi-Town Stepper and I caught a showing of George Clooney's Oscar nominated movie "Up In The Air." I hadn't expected any part of the movie to resonate with my own life. Clooney plays a professional downsizer. In other words, he flies across the country firing people for a living. He is also a motivational speaker. Although, his particular brand of motivation advises people not to get too close to things and other people. He is estranged from his family and hasn't had any meaningful romantic relationships. He lives a lonely and isolated life.

In a rare moment of being in his Omaha apartment, we see that he has never taken the time to put any personal touches to the place. The apartment is drab, cold, void of personality, and thereby, detached and void of life. It is clear that he doesn't like spending time there. It does not appear to be the home of anyone enjoying their life. This was the part that resonated with me. Sad but true:-(

Continue ruminating...

Let There Be Light

Happy first Monday of 2010!! It's a new year, a new month, a new week, a new day, and a new chance at being excellent. In other words, a whole lot of newness!! I'm pleased to report that 2010 has gotten off to a great start thus far. The past 24 hours have proven to be especially kind. Life is lighter and brighter. Here's why:

Continue ruminating...

What I Got For Christmas

This Christmas I was set free. Free to pursue the things that really matter. Free to determine who will be in the inner and outer courts of my life. Free to imagine and manifest the type of life I was created to have. And most importantly, free to be the woman I was created to be. In truth, this process of liberation started quite some time ago.

Continue ruminating....

I Am Thankful

It's important to learn to be thankful no matter what's going on, but I must admit I'm pretty excited about what's going on. Here are just a few reasons over the past week I've had to be thankful.

1. While trying to give me "words of wisdom" on personal appearance of all things, the Silver Fox told me he looks so good when goes out that "Men fret and women pet." Yaaasss! LOL. I'm thankful that his sense of humor is still as I remember it. And unintentionally so. That's the best part.
2. I've re-connected with people I do truly care about via FB. I always thought that if you cared about people then you wouldn't lose touch, but life happens and you sometimes do. I'm glad we've linked up.
3. As a life long fan of Disney (I was a bit obsessed), this holiday season I'll finally get to see a princess that looks like me. I think this is great for all the little brown girl Disney fans.
4. I know some pretty awesome people. They are waking up every morning boldly pursuing their dreams and it's encouraging me to do the same.
5. Apparently, I'm on the verge of something big. We all are. That's something to collectively get excited about.
6. The Queen sent a large container of pralines. I've supplemented my breakfast, lunch, and dinner with it each day since. Someone please stage an intervention!!! She's planning to send more goodies!!!
7. The Tator Tot began gymnastics this week. I'm anticipating hilarious stories as a result. And super thankful that her mom recognized a desire in her to enroll her. She is committed to spotting the Tot's gifts, talents, and abilities early on so that she can nurture them.
8. My childhood Loan Officer has a new lady friend and she seems really nice and he seems happy. Smiles on the faces of my loved ones make me giddy!!
9. I have a new outlet for my writing. I'm the New York Life Coach expert on Examiner.com. Please show support and check me out. NY Life Coach Examiner
10. Cajun Spice was here this past weekend and we had a good time. Sadly, she didn't leave anything I could keep for myself. You slipping girl. I'm hoping there's a pair of earrings I haven't found yet laying around.
11. Lastly, I know folks have read about my gushing with joy over things that are happening in my life. But I really want folks to know that nothing about my external situation has changed. I still live in the same small apartment with the same annoying neighbors surrounding me. I still report to my job at the law firm until I can make a smooth transition. I'm still struggling to get my time management under control. I'm still trying to tone my body. My salary is the same as before I started gushing. I'm still trying to make changes in my relationships with friends and family for the better and to be closer to them. And yes, I'm still single! But even with it all, I'm in the happiest place of my life. I know my purpose and I see the shifting taking place in my life to be effective in this world. That in and of itself is worth more than any tangible change in any of the above areas. And it's not something that's exclusive to me. We all can have joy bubbling inside of us and be graced to enjoy everyday life no matter the circumstance.

Wow Hadn't Realized

Just logged on to make another post and I realize that as of my last posting, I've made 100 blog entries. Given the fact that I don't post daily and I just started this to get me in the habit of writing more regularly, I'm super stoked about that!!!! Thanks folks for being so supportive and patient with my slow entry rate.

Thankful For The Bad Things

Last week a friend sent a group of us an email titled "Thank You Cards." She was planning to send thank you cards to all the guys she dated in the past who didn't treat her right because they have made her all the more appreciative of the man she now has. It got me thinking about what "bad" things am I thankful for? For everything has a season and yes, there is a season of turmoil just as there is a season of rest. Here's some of the turmoil I'm thankful for and why: 

1. I'm thankful that I spent years of my life depressed because now I can appreciate joy and peace. Also, because I know the battle firsthand I can speak from experience when I tell people it doesn't have to be that way forever. 
2. I'm thankful that I had a broken heart (several times) because if the happiness experienced with the wrong guy could've made me feel such loss, I'm confident that the joy and happiness brought on by the right guy will be mind blowing. 
3. I'm thankful that I experienced the death of a person close to me because I made memories with them while they were alive that will stay with me forever and their impression on my life is truly unforgettable. Those memories are what make me smile instead of cry when I think of them.  
4. I'm glad that my big ideas for my life didn't pan out exactly as I planned because now I've made room for God to show me His plans which are always better than any I could've come up with personally. 
5. I'm thankful that I spend a lot of time underground on the train because each time I come above ground I'm thankful for the simple pleasure of being able to see the sky and breath semi-fresh air. 
6. I'm thankful that the church I attend is so far out in West Nowhere Brooklyn because I get to spend time on the ride hanging with some pretty awesome friends. 
7. I'm thankful that I fell into a job I would've never picked on my own because it has made me all the more thankful of knowing my purpose and moving towards it. It's also taught me things I'm unsure how I would've learned any place else. 
8. I'm thankful that I've disagreed with family and friends because the fact that we still speak afterwards and still show love tells me that the strength of our bonds are super glue tight. 
9. I'm glad that I can witness friends and family be honest about their struggles in life because I can gain wisdom from their experiences. 
10. I'm thankful that I've experienced deception because knowing it was deception means I now know the truth. 

One Last Thing

I hadn't written out a thankful list in a while so here goes...

1. Tonight I was sandwiched on the train between a rather portly gentleman who was listening to some rather aggressive rap music that caused him to grunt and wiggle in his seat and a pre-teen who was as musty as a billy goat (note: I've never smelled a billy goat or at least I don't think but I gather they smell badly as when I was younger and would come in from a day's play, The Queen would tell me I smelled like one). I was seated between these two and I didn't smack my lips, suck my teeth, purse my lips, or give a mean side eye, nor did I shake my head! Patience is my friend. 
2. My focus has been improving and I'm being more productive at work because of it. The long hours aren't making me grumpy at all. Yes!!!  (Mentally I'm jumping in the air with one fist raised to the sky!) 
3. As I type this I'm listening to "Don't Want To Do Anything" by Mary J. Blige and K-Ci and it's not making me mournful about past loves lost. Plus, I'm thankful that I came of age before music got totally ridiculous (see earlier Facebook status to see what I mean). 
4. The Silver Fox is cutting back on the smokes!!! He is even agreeing to try Nicorette!!!! 
5. I heard the giggles of Favorite Person and the Tator Tot tonight. 
6. I had dinner with an old friend and enjoyed myself. 
7. I think it's possible that The Sensation and I will become actual friends. Is this a bad move? Someone advise me quick!!!!!
8. My secret bad habit has been improving without unsolicited intervention. 
9. I keep seeing women walking around with fingerwaves. I want to know who told them this was ok in 2009, but the good news is, I didn't display any of the aforementioned signs of annoyance mentioned in thankful item #1. 
10. Cajun Spice has started a beauty blog!!! More details on that later...

I have a girl crush

Don't worry, I still intend to marry a man but now I'm crushing on Toni. Yes, it's true. I am indeed crushing on the one and only Ms. Toni Morrison!!!!!

This past Sunday I went to Palisades, NY to attend a talk hosted by the Rockland County Public Library. She was awesome. Super wow-tastic!! She was funny, alert, totally present, serious, cerebral, gracious, bold, quick-witted, confident, and any other adjective you would apply to a well-adjusted extremely balanced in personality living legend. I'm going to be just like her when I grow up. I was sitting less than 10 feet away from this beautiful woman and I couldn't stop grinning. I got to ask her advice on writing and she related to my question and said she had struggled with the exact same thing when she began to embark on a writing career. Oh, she didn't publish her first novel until she was 39!!! Whew! That means I still have time to be the well-known international legend I know I'll be. Right know, I'm a bit of an unknown legend, but that will all be over soon enough:-) Still excited about that afternoon. Good stuff indeed!

It's True I've Changed

At the corner of Convent Avenue and 148th Street in New York, there sits a church. I'm not sure how long this church has been there. I pass it everyday on my commute and so, I can attest that for the past 3 years it's been in that location. On my walk home from the nearby train station a few days ago, I passed by that church and a middle-aged man walked by and was astonished by the fact that the church was there. "It's still here. Everything has changed, but this church is still here." He then turned in circles to survey the area.

I'm sure Sugar Hill has done a lot of changing over the years. While most of the original buildings are still there, since Sugar Hill hasn't seen the type of gentrification Central Harlem has, I'm sure it looks a bit different than before. Nothing stays the same, it always changes. Change is a growing, moving process and anything that grows changes its appearance.

While the true nature of my character has remained consistent, there are lots of things about me that have changed. In fact, over the last year alone I've had 4 different hairstyles. When presented with a picture of my current incarnation with braids, the Tot didn't know who I was. When I speak to the Boys, they ask me about my hair. Even these children understand my need to change my hair. But my change has been much more substantial than just hairstyles.

In conversation last week, I told someone that I'm an honest person. This is true. In fact, Favorite Person thinks this is the area in life in which I excel (thanks). However, I've learned to administer a different type of honesty in recent months. Before, I would just speak the truth in it's plainest form and gave no consideration as to how the hearer might perceive it. This led at one point to a former mentor telling me that I "lacked tact and had no charisma," a comment we still get a laugh out of. Now, it's important to me that I deliver honesty with more than a grain of grace and mercy. I try whenever possible to put a soft edge around it to make the pill go down easier. In the past I thought this was somehow diluting the truth, but truth is truth plain and simple. When the person I was in conversation with told me I didn't have to place a soft edge around the truth when speaking to them, I instinctively said I couldn't forgo the soft edge anymore. I hadn't realized it, but I had become this person who is now incapable of trying to place a soft edge around the hardness that can sometimes envelope truth.

Yesterday, a friend told me that I didn't have to apologize for giving them what they asked for and for being honest. I explained that the apology was for any offense that may have occurred when I administered the feedback. She felt that people are responsible for their own feelings and that to apologize for a possible offense was maybe going the "extra mile". Even if I were to agree that it's going the extra mile, I'm completely comfortable going the extra mile. At this point, it's another thing I can't help. And while I agree we are all responsible for our own feelings and no one can "make" you feel a certain way, I believe we can provoke or incite certain feelings in people if we are neglectful. One of my favorite quotes is by Eleanor Roosevelt and she said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." True. But I've become a person who doesn't even want to offer the opportunity for that consent.

As we age, we hope to gain wisdom from experiences and allow that wisdom to change us for the better. Even with this hope of positive change gleaned from transformative wisdom, I'm still amazed by the little glances into the "new" me. Both of those moments helped me to see that I was further along on this wisdom journey than I thought I was.

Battle Formation

This weekend I watched the Greek battle movie 300 on dvd (more insight from this weekend to come). The premise of the movie is this: The great Spartan warriors with their valiant king take on the whole of the Persian army that numbers well into the tens of thousands with an "army" of 300 of the king's personal bodyguards because he's been told that he can't wage war using the Spartan army. This group of 300 are able to fight off the legions of Persian warriors for quite some time before being defeated.

They indeed fought a losing battle but, it was the manner in which they were able to be as successful as they were that intrigued me and sent me to Wikipedia to learn more about these people and their battles. They fought in a phalanx formation. In a phalanx, the emphasis is on the unit acting as one rather than one person fighting within a unit. Each man carries his shield on his left to protect the man on his left while using his weaponry with his right hand. This allows them to move in such a way as to be an impenetrable force. It's a formation still in use today.


The effectiveness of a phalanx is based on how well they are able to maintain their formation in battle. Members of a phalanx have to trust and be willing to protect their neighbors. In the Greek army, warriors were placed next to and required to protect their family and friends as an incentive to stick to the formation as well as a means to discourage a warrior from retreating for risk of shame. This created a more disciplined and courageous army that could win in battle.

Even though this wasn't the first time I'd heard of this formation, I guess it resonated with me during the movie because of recent ruminations about my own life and the times in which we live. Knowing that a cord of 3 strands is not easily broken, I wonder why is it that so many amongst us seem to think otherwise? How much more effective in life would we be if we implemented the phalanx mentality? Everyone's motto seems to be to "get mine."

The fact that these men could protect their fellow man with one arm and protect themselves with the other proves to me that it's possible to help the advancement of another while you also advance. On blogs, people are cutting down one another and wishing misfortune on those who are striving towards their dreams or trying to make an impact in society; teens are being cyber bullies; in professional environments, team members are actively engaged in sabotage so they can appear to be the lone shining star; the rich often see charity as welfare or a P.R. opportunity; and in relationships, many feel to compromise for the good of the whole is somehow short changing the individual. For these and countless other reasons, I wonder how long can a society survive like this?

If a family says to each other "No matter what, this is our focus" and lets no outside force interfere with their pursuit of the goal as a collective unit, how much faster will they get there? Is it impossible to think that two people on a job with different areas of expertise and strengths could team up and present an innovative idea that allows both of them an opportunity for promotion? Could the problem of poor education in our schools and the societal issues that result from it be solved if parents, teachers, and administrators banded together for the good of the common purpose which is to educate the minds of our brightest hopes: our kids?

I'm about to ingrain the phalanx in my life. My family, my friends, my co-workers, my spirit and soul, everything and everyone need to be lined up for a purpose of common good.

Can't Control Yourself (Another Long On)

By now, I'm sure most of you know that last weekend's #1 movie at the box office was "Obsessed," racking in over $28 million for Beyonce and crew. This is the same Beyonce who has barely mastered the King's English. No matter what we think of her, the woman is doing her thing. I don't co-sign on her acting (her or Tyler) or the recycling of a tired plot line, but I'm curious enough to make it a NetFlix pick where I estimate it'll only cost me $2.

Don't be fooled. I'm not a Beyonce hater. On the contrary, I'm a fan. I love that she is working her butt off and trying anything she thinks she may have a talent for (misguided or not). At 27, she has achieved more than most will have achieved in a lifetime. People knock her for the perceived Queen Bee persona and heavily guarded image, but whatever she is doing is working. If she were a stock, I'd buy a few shares.

But this isn't a post to wax at length about the "superstar" that is Beyonce. I'm making this post because of the never satisfied with mediocrity thus, always striving for excellence Beyonce. I saw a clip online from her appearance last week on Larry King Live wherein she said the following, "I feel like I haven't seen the best of myself and the world hasn't seen the best of me." That comment stuck with me. I understand money doesn't mean happiness. Although, having earned $80 million last year alone she could've bought a whole lot of distractions to try to convince herself that she was. Instead it's her quest for excellence that has intrigued me. This is a woman who is known around the world, performed for the President on personal invitation, sold 50 million records worldwide, has a clothing line (I don't co-sign on that either), and has managed to not have the fullness of her life sold for display in the tabloids (Sure her pictures are there and we speculate, but how much do we really know? For the record, I'm fine not knowing.). But with having achieved all of that, she recognizes that she hasn't seen the best of herself. She has her own definition of excellence and success that she's after.

Earlier in the interview, she said she felt as though she was born to sing, then corrected herself and stated she was born to entertain. It's awesome to wake up everyday and do what you were created to do and allow the blessings that flow from that to enable you to change the lives of others (quiet as it's kept, she actually does a bit of philanthropic work).

I was reading Black Enterprise this month and Jill Scott says, "That's how I've wanted to live my life. If it happens to become something financially beneficial, then great. I sing, write, and act because I can't help myself. I love being creative...I want a livelihood that gives me internal pleasure."

I went to college so that I could have a back-up plan in case my dream didn't manifest. I spent so much time planning for the failure of my dream, I never gave my dream an opportunity to succeed. I listened to people tell me what to do to be successful and what was logical. I neglected the things I knew made me happy. I pushed aside and told that part of me that was jumping up and down to express itself that it had to wait until I secured the back-up plan. Ultimately, that led to disappointment and nothing I really call success. And I doubt I'm the only one.

Today marks the end of a complete calendar month that I've maintained this blog. It's been great to get the feedback from others, be it positive or not. Having the people I care about tell me that they care enough to check regularly has meant a lot. I'm still trying to push myself to do more writing and to kick it up a notch. I've gotten started putting myself and my thoughts out for public consumption and opinion, now I can't stop myself. I want to see where else I can take it. The days I didn't make entries, I felt like I'd wasted a day. The days I made entries, no matter what else happened that day, I felt like there was a purpose for me waking up. Yep, that serious.

What can't you help yourself from doing? What's like fire in your bones that you have to let out? I know what it is for me. Now, I'm trying to erase all the reasons I've given myself over the years to not do it and own it. Have you displayed the best of yourself for the world? Can you say how you live is how you always wanted to live? Does your livelihood give you internal pleasure?




Scroll over to 5:41 to hear the referenced comment and spare yourself a lot of stuttering.

What Shall I Say

I shall say that I'm appreciative for all of my experiences (good, bad, or indifferent) and the people placed in my life. More specifically, what shall I say are the reasons I'm grateful today? 

1. I'm accepting the fact that my wisdom is finite which opens me up to gain more from an infinite source. 
2. Favorite Person is exceeding her own expectations, but I knew all along she would. 
3. I told HS that I needed help and He graciously answered my request. 
4. My frustrations with my lack of excellence through the years hasn't deterred me from continuing to strive for it. 
5. I have people in my life who are patient with me. Thanks RF! 
   
   

Why Hold On

I often forget just how much of a pack rat I am. This is easy to do as I live in a small NYC apartment and keeping it free of the appearance of clutter is foremost on my mind. Therefore, everything is neatly tucked away in folders and boxes. Because I don't see it, I often forget I have it. 

While looking for a document from '04 (I found it!), I came across a picture of the last man I loved taken of him the day we met; a card said loved man gave me explaining in writing what he could never verbalize; writing samples and press clippings from college; greeting cards given to me over the years by loved ones, as well as cards I bought and never gave out; tax and banking records from eons ago; my high school diploma and college degree; the registration papers for Paul (those of you who've rocked with me since '96, you have fond memories of Paul too); manuals and warranties; and a host of other papers and photos. 

Why do I keep them? Is it healthy to hold onto memories of failed relationships or notebooks containing goals you neglected to attain? What's to be gained from going through these things? And if you never look back on them, what's the point of keeping them? 

I found pictures that the entire Kindergarten class of a Baltimore charter school drew for me, as well as the card the 5th grade girls bought and signed for me. I hold on to these because they remind me of a time when I was truly fulfilled by a job that I went to everyday with a smile. I keep the letters and cards from family and friends because they remind that people love me and my milestones are important enough to them to acknowledge.  The pictures help my mind recall the details that I sometimes forget like it seems that every member of my family has a smile that whenever I see it (in person or on film) always makes me smile. The invite and pictures to the nuptials of a friend that I missed remind me of my past irresponsibility. 

There was a time when I'd dig through this box and feel homesick, lonely, depressed, stagnant, and any other negative emotion one could muster. But tonight, I realized an even more powerful emotion to be associated with these things: growth! I was thankful for the memories, kind and unkind. I'd gotten older and wiser since last I rummaged through that box. When I saw the pictures of the lost love that I used to lament over, I thought of the advice Cajun Spice once gave me, "If this guy made you feel that great, just imagine how much happier you'll feel when you meet the man God has for you!" Pictures of Bowler Boy remind me of how silly he is (I own no picture where he isn't "in character"). I realized that I'm no longer looking at the past and wishing the good 'ole bad days were still here. I'm more confident that delightful and maybe even not so delightful memories will come, but I'll be able to take either in stride. 

There were things I came across in the box that I was rather ambivalent about. I couldn't register any level of growth from the last time I saw them. But hey, I didn't break out into tears. I'll take that. Many of the items could really be tossed. Yet with all the growth, I still found them hard to get rid of. Why is this? Am I the only one with this condition? 

Surely, I can't be. 

Everyday Is A Day For Learning (It may seem long & random but flow with me please)

Today's lesson: Life is not a dress rehearsal! 

In a Gmail chat this morning with Bronx Bomber, I told her to come to the dark side of accepting that most people/companies/products/experiences will not live up to your expectations. The notion of excellence is absent from the collective consciousness. I don't know where it started or when, but I know that walking around with preconceived notions about what things should be, will usually lead to disappointment. The more one fights this viewpoint, the more annoyance it causes. 

Throughout my life, I have been guilty of seldomly displaying commitment and excellence. In fact, I've subtitled this blog "An exercise in excellence" to push myself to higher levels of productivity and quality. But true to habit, I haven't always hit the mark. When a friend pointed out some areas of improvement, I neglected to see she was only trying to get me to where I've expressed I want to be. Instead, I got offended because of my own personal admittance of mediocrity that I didn't want anyone else to notice. However, mediocrity, just as excellence, cannot stay hidden. They are both easily apparent. They both lunge at you like that one old dude in the club who is trying to prove he's "still got it." And over time, they stick to you like the so-so looking guy you allow to buy you a drink then he bothers you the rest of the night. 

Today I received a call from my mom telling me that one of her long-time friends had passed away. A woman I admired growing up for her ability to be funny, smart, popular, honest under all circumstances, no respecter of persons, and stylish while doing so. Our families worshipped, traveled and weathered storms together. Mrs. Kelly you will be missed. 

At 15 when I had an idea for a teen-talk show on a local radio station, my mom told Mrs. Kelly and she arranged a meeting the station's GM so I could present it to him. I gave my first pitch and it felt great. The GM liked the idea and told me to flesh it out a little more and to follow-up with him. As was already a habit, I didn't complete the task and the station went ahead with the idea a few months later sans me. Every Sunday I listened to the radio as kids who had "stolen" my big break waxed on about whatever it is that teens wax on about. My mom and Mrs. Kelly later  wanted me to be a debutante in my senior year. I went to one meeting then refused to go back. When a good friend began to share about her debutante festivities at school, I was quietly regretting my decision to forego the opportunity. In college, Mrs. Kelly and mom suggested I join a sorority, I again refused. I now see friends who did join and wonder if I missed out on anything. 

I was a quick starter of things and an even faster stopper. My one consistent behavior in life is that I was utterly inconsistent. I couldn't tell you how many hobbies (clarinet, piano, cheerleading, cross-country running, ceramics, the list could go on) my parents shelled out cash for and I didn't stick to any of them (after several years of piano you'd think I could eek out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star or something). I was okay for far too long with being "just me." I declared my inability to commit to simply being a diverse creative personality who wanted to try it all. In and of itself, there's noting wrong with that. 

However, life is not a dress rehearsal. We only get one shot at this and so we better make it count. Sure, try new things and if you don't like them, move to the next. But don't change up so much that you never give yourself the opportunity to excel at anything. We are all truly talented at something, maybe even a few things. Do those things the best you can every time you can. And for the other few things you're not gifted at, be smart about getting help or deferring to those who do excel at them. 

Maybe Bronx Bomber doesn't have to adjust her expectations on everything. Maybe if we all held one another to higher standards, people will see it's ok to step up. Maybe the frustration we feel when things don't meet our expectations is because it's our spirit telling us that we need to challenge the status quo until the generally accepted behavior is one of excellence from everyone. Maybe, I don't know. As for me, Operation Step-Up is in full gear. 

I wish I'd have stepped up and told Mrs. Kelly how much she had influenced me and how awesome I thought she was:-( 

Told You I Had Progressed

So Bowler Boy told me today that my site needed to be jazzed up with graphics or something. I'm working on it but it takes time. He says he sees too many words, and for those of you who know Bowler Boy, you know he despises words and reading. Thank you BB for continuing to tune in anyway!

I'll try to keep this short. After years of reading self-help, business success, networking and people management books and articles, I finally decided to test out some of what I learned. In the past when faced with a networking opportunity, I would glide along the sidelines of the room waiting for someone to come over and talk to me. if I didn't have an introduction from someone else, I wouldn't have ever opened my mouth. This usually happens when I'm supposed to be advancing my personal agenda. If I had to network on the company time, it didn't seem as daunting and I did it much easier. Notice I didn't say with ease, just easier than if I had to do it to further my personal endeavors. In fact, I don't recall having gained a friend in my life wherein I spoke to them first. It has mostly been someone being brave enough to approach me. Tonight that ended.

In preparation for my first Toastmaster's meeting tomorrow and an event I was supposed to attend last night, I went to the TM website to gather info. I ran across an article on Mingling. I implemented some of the tips and whaddaya know? I actually had an enjoyable time at a networking event. I made what I believe are good contacts, I was engaging and witty. You know, a few of the things I am naturally, but rarely do I show it to strangers. I just wanted to share that. Good night folks.