Beans and Biscuits

For the past 2 years, I've been on a rather intense journey to get myself in alignment with what I consider to be God's plan for me. Deeming this period of life one that requires immense concentration, I've sometimes left myself blind to the things going on with people I'm not intimately close with. Two such people would be Beans and Biscuits*.

Continue ruminating...

Beans is a person who as soon as you meet her, she's giving you reason to laugh and smile. She is someone who inspires immediate familiarity because she either reminds you of yourself and your best friend at that age, your little sister, or a cool little cousin. She can get away with saying some of the most outlandish things because you sense they come from a place of authenticity. She and I don't get to spend a lot of time together, but when we do I'm always glad we did.

In January after a couple of months of spotty church attendance, Beans told me she had been thinking of and praying for me. She has absolutely no clue the various balls I'm juggling in my life, but she didn't need the details. She just knew whatever the reason for my absence, most certainly a prayer would be helpful and God would know the exact measure of whatever was needed. It gave me great comfort to know people were praying for me outside of my knowledge. Sometimes, just knowing that you are being thought of can go a long way in helping you stay encouraged. It also made me more sensitive to praying for others who aren't in my immediate circle. I regularly pray for those close to me, but I sometimes forget to pray for those I know on the periphery until they express a certain need. I've been incredibly grateful and touched by her concern. Thanks Beans!!!

Then we have Biscuits. It's hard for me to say what I think or feel about Biscuits. I've fluctuated between thinking that trying to build a close friendship with her is a lost cause (she's a bit stubborn and headstrong) and truly delighting in her company (she's funny, sincere, smart and pretty easy going). Within myself I cannot make sense of it. Ever had an associate you thought could make a cool friend if only thus or so about their personality would change? Yep, that's exactly where I was/am (still don't know) about this situation.

But this morning, even in the midst of my uncertainty about our friendship, I realized my approach had been all wrong. There are times when I think that due to the personality conflicts between the two of us, I just don't need to bother because I have more important things on my plate to deal with. Anything that could possibly aid in my loss of focus cannot be tolerated. And that's basically how I was approaching the situation. But how selfish of me?!

Selfishly, I was concerned about my own needs and never really thought to examine that maybe she didn't have time for the silly "Are we buddies this week" tug of war we are/were in. Selfishly, I thought "why can't she just change this or that?" I knew the back and forth nor my method for handling it wasn't productive. I tried to make amends and come to a resolution, but one never seemed to work. So, I was completely ready to walk away. But I was struck with an extreme burden and concern for what was going on in her life. I'd prayed for her and her family before, but this was now different. And while we weren't in regular transparent communication, my heart was still interceding on hers and her family's behalf. My own frustration with trying to understand and make sense of what was happening in her life was growing by the day and I had no outlet for it but prayer.

However, I felt my prayers weren't enough. I wanted to be there in some tangible way for her and at the same time have distance because of our clashes. The two can't co-exist. But here's what I now know: Prayer is powerful weapon of our warfare and my prayers are indeed enough; if it's meant for me to be there in a more tangible way, God will orchestrate it; I trust that her character is good and that just as I'm a work in progress, so is she; walking in love is what I'm instructed to do and I therefore have no choice in the matter if I want to remain obedient; and the gifts of the Holy Spirit work best when unity and love are present. So I stand lovingly unified with her in the belief and hope that there will be a victorious resolution to her situation.

I still don't know where I stand (or she stands for that matter) with our friendship growing closer. Each time I think I have it figured out, the Holy Spirit shows me that I don't. I've honestly never had such a perplexing friendship. But another thing I'm certain of is I can no longer consider myself the only person who doesn't "have time for folks' foolishness" because maybe, just maybe, they don't have time for mine either.

Yeeeppppp!!!

So I thank these two young women for increasing my knowledge about walking in love. Nobody said it was going to be easy, and I don't profess to have it perfectly figured out. As the Highstepper says, "It comes down to these moment by moment decisions we make to walk in love daily." Or I think that's how she words it. This is yet another moment for me to rise to the challenge of walking this thing out.