Time To Be Thankful

I confess to feeling like a sucker today! And why do I feel like a sucker do you ask? Well, because my last blog entry was 3 weeks ago and it was such a personal victory, that I thought "surely I should have followed it up with something really cool,"right? Right? Well, I didn't. And while I'm not proud of that, I shall carry on.

Truth of the matter is, I hadn't felt very inspired to write anything. Not that I was upset, I just wasn't inspired. Then, today I recalled that I hadn't done a gratitude post in quite sometime. When I first started this blog, gratitude was (in addition to developing the regular habit of writing) one of my main reasons for doing so. I wanted to challenge myself to find reasons to be thankful everyday or at the very least a couple of times each week give intentional thought to the vast reasons I had to be more appreciative of my life. So here goes:

• I finally kicked my apartment redesign into gear and have found some really cute things. I'm tackling the project one room at a time and will reveal photos of each room as they are completed. The bedroom is first. 
• After trying to sell my dining table on Craigslist, I was informed of a family who had lost everything in a fire and so, I donated the table to them. And since donating the table, I have all sorts of room to dance around my apartment (the table was too large for the space). Is it really necessary to have a dining table? I really don't want to lose the square footage again te he he!
• Life Revolution Coaching, LLC is a registered business in the state of New York with a federal EIN, and it's own business banking account! May seem small to some, but it's a tangible manifestation of a long personal process. 
• I aced my Foundational Coaching exam and am expecting the certificate any day now!!! Owa Owa!!! I still have several more courses to take, but I'm well on my way to certification!! 
• The Songbird was entered into the Classical Writer Hall of Fame (I think that's the proper title)!!! She has been laboring (in love) for quite sometime to pursue her passion so, I'm pleased to acknowledge this accomplishment with her. 
• I just started working with a new coaching client and I'm pretty excited about the direction I think she is headed!! 
• The Tator Tot and The Boys all enjoyed their Easter gifts from TT Tracey:-) Who is the world's best aunt? Who? Say it louder please!!! Yep, that's right...ME!!! 
• Provision is continually being provided even when I'm certain I didn't deserve it. And even when I think I did, I probably still didn't. But oh so thankful anyway!! 
• I FINALLY went out and bought some yarn for my first knitting project. That's right folks, knitting!! And, Cajun Spice didn't throw me a side eye mean enough to be felt over the phone!!!! 
• I'm thankful that I'm comfortable enough with myself and my Source to honestly share my process with folks. I'm not perfect. I do make mistakes, but I've learned a lot and I'm trying to use that wisdom to help others. 
• IT'S SPRING!!!!
• There are many more reasons I can think of, but I believe best of all is that while I started this entry feeling a little not so great, I'm ending on a high note. Just by simply typing reasons I've had to be thankful over the past couple of weeks, it's pepped me up from my sourpuss mood today!!! 

*Photos via a new design blog I'm stalking Design Fabulous

The Gratitude Exchange

This past Saturday, The Ladies got together for a gratitude exchange. This was our postdated Christmas gift exchange. Why so late? Because most of us aren't from NYC so, we weren't all in town on Christmas Day. What's a gratitude exchange and why do it? Glad you asked. A gratitude exchange is when instead of store bought gifts, you give something homemade from the heart that symbolizes your appreciation of that person.

The gifts were thoughtful and very creative. The exchange included free make-up sessions, coupons for an excuse-free workout, a progress report on personal evolution, poetry, a music video, proclamations of promises, complimentary chef services, and a cookbook of favorite foods.

Before the exchange, the Bronx Bomber requested that we take communion first. Now for some of you, this concept of communion at home maybe unfamiliar, but in Biblical times, folks didn't have churches as they do today (and the very 1st communion held certainly wasn't in a church) to partake in this act of gratitude and acceptance of grace. Besides, where ever two or three are gathered...

 

Going the extra mile, or simply walking in excellence depending on your POV, BB lovingly made unleavened bread at home as representation of Christ's body and brought the good Welch's grape juice for the blood. 

To sum up the evening in one thought I'd say: Gratitude is love manifested.

Maybe I'm not truly appreciative

So it's been nearly 2 months since my last blog entry (yes, too long I know) and I honestly can't think of a reason that would suffice as to why it's been that long. I could tell you that I've been really busy with work, class, starting a new business, my family and friends, and personal growth, but none of that matters. Or at least it shouldn't. I committed to creating and maintaining a blog for which many of my friends supported (and frequently checked even while I was slothful). Also, as an adult I should know how to manage my time better. So really, I can't provide any excuse for my lack of entries. I'm not being hard on myself, I'm being honest with myself. Therefore, until I officially announce that this blog is no more, I have a duty to maintain it.

What has prompted this burning desire to live up to my word? Well, my word is one of my most important assets. Without it being credible, I will be rendered ineffective in most endeavors. But also, in a conversation yesterday someone asked me about gratitude. Way way long ago, I used to make thankful entries. I sincerely believe we are far more blessed than what we'll ever be cursed so, I made daily (then weekly) lists of reasons I was thankful that day. It took my mind off the negative and forced me to see the positive in each day.

In this conversation yesterday, I was lamenting the fact that there is an area of my life that is very important to me and I say that I'm thankful for it, but I don't behave like I am. How could I appreciate something if I don't take care of it? And how can I say I am caring for something when I don't give it my very best? This thing in my life has been getting 1/3 of my weakest energy, if that much. If that's the case, maybe I don't appreciate it as much as I should.

This led to me thinking of the thankful entries I was making and the blog as a whole. So without further delay, here are a just a few things I've been grateful for over the past 2 months:

1. I went home to Louisiana and spent tons of time with the Tot. It was good to see my entire family, but I admit a special pleasure of seeing the growth in the little one. She is truly a spectacular child.
2. While I was there, I stayed at my Favorite Person's home and I'm so proud of the woman she has become. I get to watch her figure out how to navigate life and she's not perfect, but she's damn close!!!!
3. I actually enjoyed being in Miami last week:-)
4. The Queen Bee has decided to make a trip to NYC. I anxiously await her arrival. Just know that I plan to let her cook and I'll eat myself silly the entire time she's here.
5. Bowler Boy was in The States in October and we got to hang briefly. Although he owes me a remote, I won't ban all future visits.
6. Cajun Spice has stepped out on faith and her path is being blessed step-by-step.
7. The Cousin has decided to implement change!!
8. A bond with an associate has graduated to friend. I'm pretty excited about that.
9. I've registered my business name and have the papers to prove it!!!
10. Overall, I've had a sense of excitement about the things to come in my life and those around me. I'm loved and I love. I'm growing and I'm witnessing growth. What is there to not be thankful about when held in comparison to the many things to be thankful for?

I Am Thankful

It's important to learn to be thankful no matter what's going on, but I must admit I'm pretty excited about what's going on. Here are just a few reasons over the past week I've had to be thankful.

1. While trying to give me "words of wisdom" on personal appearance of all things, the Silver Fox told me he looks so good when goes out that "Men fret and women pet." Yaaasss! LOL. I'm thankful that his sense of humor is still as I remember it. And unintentionally so. That's the best part.
2. I've re-connected with people I do truly care about via FB. I always thought that if you cared about people then you wouldn't lose touch, but life happens and you sometimes do. I'm glad we've linked up.
3. As a life long fan of Disney (I was a bit obsessed), this holiday season I'll finally get to see a princess that looks like me. I think this is great for all the little brown girl Disney fans.
4. I know some pretty awesome people. They are waking up every morning boldly pursuing their dreams and it's encouraging me to do the same.
5. Apparently, I'm on the verge of something big. We all are. That's something to collectively get excited about.
6. The Queen sent a large container of pralines. I've supplemented my breakfast, lunch, and dinner with it each day since. Someone please stage an intervention!!! She's planning to send more goodies!!!
7. The Tator Tot began gymnastics this week. I'm anticipating hilarious stories as a result. And super thankful that her mom recognized a desire in her to enroll her. She is committed to spotting the Tot's gifts, talents, and abilities early on so that she can nurture them.
8. My childhood Loan Officer has a new lady friend and she seems really nice and he seems happy. Smiles on the faces of my loved ones make me giddy!!
9. I have a new outlet for my writing. I'm the New York Life Coach expert on Examiner.com. Please show support and check me out. NY Life Coach Examiner
10. Cajun Spice was here this past weekend and we had a good time. Sadly, she didn't leave anything I could keep for myself. You slipping girl. I'm hoping there's a pair of earrings I haven't found yet laying around.
11. Lastly, I know folks have read about my gushing with joy over things that are happening in my life. But I really want folks to know that nothing about my external situation has changed. I still live in the same small apartment with the same annoying neighbors surrounding me. I still report to my job at the law firm until I can make a smooth transition. I'm still struggling to get my time management under control. I'm still trying to tone my body. My salary is the same as before I started gushing. I'm still trying to make changes in my relationships with friends and family for the better and to be closer to them. And yes, I'm still single! But even with it all, I'm in the happiest place of my life. I know my purpose and I see the shifting taking place in my life to be effective in this world. That in and of itself is worth more than any tangible change in any of the above areas. And it's not something that's exclusive to me. We all can have joy bubbling inside of us and be graced to enjoy everyday life no matter the circumstance.

Especially Thankful

I'm coming to realize that on the days when everything seems to be going wrong, those are the days to be the most thankful. Why? Well first of all, it could be a lot worse so be thankful that it isn't. Secondly, it's only with a spirit of gratitude that you'll be able to positively weather all the negative things that are happening. Yesterday was sort of tough. And actually, I can't say tough. I'm trying to be more mindful of my adjectives:-) It was more so annoying and unexpected. But here's why I found reasons to be thankful in the midst of frustrating encounters.

1. All week I had been feeling a bit tired and slightly under the weather. So yesterday I wake up and everything is achy and my jaw/inner cheeks are hurting and appear irritated. I called the doctor to schedule an appointment and they gave me a time, but then called me back and rescheduled it later in the day. Reason to be thankful: I have insurance that allows for pop in visits to the doctor with minimal out of pocket expense to me ($15 co-pay owa owa!!) and I got an appointment yesterday even if it was at a later time than I'd have liked.
2. I got into a cab and told the driver where I was going and gave him a reference point. He argued with me that there existed no such reference point. He took me to the intersection but indeed the spot I was looking for wasn't there so I had to walk around a bit to get where I wanted to go. Reason to be thankful: My walk wasn't very far and I learned a bit about a neighborhood that I don't usually frequent.
3. Once I linked up with a friend for lunch things seemed to be going ok, but my sandal strap broke. Reasons to be thankful: There was a shoe store nearby and I was able to pick up a pair of inexpensive sandals.
4. En route to the doctor's office I was so tired I fell asleep on the train and missed my stop to transfer to another train. Reason to be thankful: I was able to get off on the next stop that had across the platform transfers so I didn't have to walk above ground and swipe again (although I use a monthly Metrocard I still didn't feel like doing all of that).
5. At the doctor's office I had to wait about 20-30 minutes before I could be seen. Reasons to be thankful: My doctor's office has a super comfortable waiting area and I had my journal with me so I got some uninterrupted writing in during the wait.
6. I went to Whole Foods on the way home to pick up some produce. Somehow, I unexpectedly spent $62 on one bag of groceries that was 98% produce!!!! Reason to be thankful: I could afford to do so and I know I bought quality food.
7. Got home and was very sleepy. Went to bed around 6:30 and woke up again at 8:00 when I was hoping to sleep till this morning. Reason to be thankful: I used the extra hours awake to get some reading done and came to some pretty impactful revelations!!!

Life isn't about what happens to us. It's about how we handle what gets thrown our way. As always, my challenge to you is to come up with your own reasons to be thankful. I'd like to hear why you are able to be thankful during difficult times. Even when you really don't feel like it, just do it. You'll be much happier you did!

Well Thank You

Before my head touches the pillow, I must give thanks for just a few things:

1. While The Stormy One still hasn't regained her hearing, she hasn't lost anything else (still has use of her limbs, eyes, and voice). I'm quite confident they will figure out what the problem is. In the meantime can someone tell me what the sing language would be for "Stop yelling. Just because you can't hear doesn't mean we all can't!"
2. Pretty Girl got her first Bible in the mail today. She thought it was..."pretty" (of course) and she seems excited to have it. Did anyone know that kids have homework on the first day of school now? That's another reason to be thankful..I'm no longer in high school!
3. Tried a new Indian restaurant tonight and I made it home without incident. No Canal Street tragedies:-0 (probably TMI but I can be honest with y'all te he he ta ha ha)
4. Still excited to have discovered the music of Sam Sparro. He's like a cross between Prince, Gnarls Barkley, and P-Funk!!! Yay!
5. The Scratcher made a post to her Facebook page. "Finally it has happened to me right in front of my face and I just cannot hide it!" Anybody know where CeCe Peniston is these days?
6. My friend has married a very nice man. It was a pleasure to meet him.
7. I'm still receiving nothing but support and good will towards my upcoming endeavors. I know there will come a time when I'll face opposition, but when it happens I'll just fall back on knowing I'm doing what I was created to do and that the people who matter most to me are supportive.
8. A kid ALMOST hit me with his scooter tonight. Note: ALMOST vs. DID
9. The movement (not quite a revolution) is starting in 3 more days. Unfortunately, it will not be televised.
10. Still excited about my writing session from Sunday with Songbird!!!!!

Thankful For The Bad Things

Last week a friend sent a group of us an email titled "Thank You Cards." She was planning to send thank you cards to all the guys she dated in the past who didn't treat her right because they have made her all the more appreciative of the man she now has. It got me thinking about what "bad" things am I thankful for? For everything has a season and yes, there is a season of turmoil just as there is a season of rest. Here's some of the turmoil I'm thankful for and why: 

1. I'm thankful that I spent years of my life depressed because now I can appreciate joy and peace. Also, because I know the battle firsthand I can speak from experience when I tell people it doesn't have to be that way forever. 
2. I'm thankful that I had a broken heart (several times) because if the happiness experienced with the wrong guy could've made me feel such loss, I'm confident that the joy and happiness brought on by the right guy will be mind blowing. 
3. I'm thankful that I experienced the death of a person close to me because I made memories with them while they were alive that will stay with me forever and their impression on my life is truly unforgettable. Those memories are what make me smile instead of cry when I think of them.  
4. I'm glad that my big ideas for my life didn't pan out exactly as I planned because now I've made room for God to show me His plans which are always better than any I could've come up with personally. 
5. I'm thankful that I spend a lot of time underground on the train because each time I come above ground I'm thankful for the simple pleasure of being able to see the sky and breath semi-fresh air. 
6. I'm thankful that the church I attend is so far out in West Nowhere Brooklyn because I get to spend time on the ride hanging with some pretty awesome friends. 
7. I'm thankful that I fell into a job I would've never picked on my own because it has made me all the more thankful of knowing my purpose and moving towards it. It's also taught me things I'm unsure how I would've learned any place else. 
8. I'm thankful that I've disagreed with family and friends because the fact that we still speak afterwards and still show love tells me that the strength of our bonds are super glue tight. 
9. I'm glad that I can witness friends and family be honest about their struggles in life because I can gain wisdom from their experiences. 
10. I'm thankful that I've experienced deception because knowing it was deception means I now know the truth. 

Everyday is a Day to be Thankful

Here are today's reasons: 

1. Songbird and I have agreed to start holding joint writing sessions to force me into completing this book. 
2. I'm assuming that the Tot's fever has broken because I heard her cheerful giggles in the background today. 
3. As I share my upcoming plans with people they are being super supportive. 
4. Thanks to the Bronx Bomber I realize I'm not the only one with a parent that just can't let some strange food habits go. 
5. There was evidence of a major victory in someone's life extremely close to me. Prayer and praise are your best weapons in life. Use them wisely. 
6. Tomorrow is Monday (talk about grace to enjoy things, I'm actually looking forward to work tomorrow). 
7. After hearing about a man who was randomly shot in the leg and had to get it amputated, I'm happy that I have all my limbs. I'm also elated that this man didn't wallow in his injury and turned the situation around to help others as he is now also a motivational speaker. 
8. People are actually reading this blog. Thank you guys! I do appreciate every click and read I get. And while I can see by the site tracking that you are coming, could you just please start commenting so I get some feedback? I promise it's not as hard as trying to figure out why BET is still allowed to be in existence. It is much simpler than that trust me. Thanks! 
9. The salmon pannini from the juice shop is amazing! Arturo has just solidified my status as a loyal customer.  
10. I think it's pretty cool that no matter what kind of day I'm having, I can always find more reasons to be thankful than to be remorseful and ungrateful. What's even more incredible is that you can too if you just try! 

Just a side bar, I could only come up with one reason to not be thankful and that's I didn't get a chance to rewash my hair from last night and twist it. But then again I can still be thankful that I have hair. There are some who've lost theirs due to worry and stress or worse yet, from chemo treatments. So yeah I guess I am always finding more reasons to be happy and thankful! 

So Many Reasons

Let's keep the Father's Day ball rolling and here are just a few of the many reasons to be thankful that the Silver Fox is my dad: 

1. He's funnier accidentally than most people on purpose. 
2. He brought home Krispy Kreme in the mornings to send me off to school. 
3. He made every family vacation note worthy. 
4. He supported my quest to win a Tom & Jerry prize by sending in post cards for months to TBS.  He also supported my desire to have my coloring featured on the local news by "Coloring The Weather With Mike Graham!" 
5. He randomly brought home people and told us they were family. It's nice to meet a new cousin every week. 
6. He was just as excited about zoos and amusement parks as we were.  
7. There is NOTHING he doesn't think can be grilled. And only hurricanes can prevent him from grilling. 
8. No matter how irresponsible I was with my lunch money and allowance, he never complained when I ran out of either. 
9. He showed me that real men do cry and they aren't afraid to express their love. 
10. At 64 he doesn't want to slow down. As much as it may annoy me at times, I'm more grateful than I've ever admitted. 

To The Silver Fox

Dear Daddy AKA Silver Fox, 

Although I'm miles from home and rarely in your presence, I think of you daily. I want so badly to let the world know how much you mean to me, but words leave me now and tears come. Just know that I love you and  respect all that you've done and provided for me. The first man in any woman's life should be a loving, protective father. I'm glad you are mine. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, I'm still here

and still thankful...

1. The Silver Fox is stalking Favorite Person. While I feel bad for her, I'm glad it's not me. Is it bad that I find the whole thing he-larry-us?!
2. The Silver Fox thought he was too hip to wear Rockports. It's nice to see he believes there is no age limit on cool (maybe in his case there should be).
3. Happy Birthday Cousin!! Remember: Growing older beats the alternative of dying young!
4. Just when I think I've messed up things royally, God still shows me grace.
5. I think I'm getting sick (achy body, itchy inner ear, sore throat, etc), but I'm alive and aware that a doctor's visit is only a phone call away. Many don't have the luxury of insurance. I encourage everyone to really examine the healthcare plan being discussed.
6. Queen Bee is putting on the pressure, but I'm confident she shall live and not die nor continue to pressure me in the process of living.
7. After weeks of harassment, Part-Time Puerto Rican has almost convinced me to join Facebook. What's up PT PR?!

As Always

I'm thankful...

1. That I have victory in all circumstances.
2. We are nearly half way through June and I'll see the folks in a month's time.
3. Even though it's rainy, I got nothing but sunshine.
4. Chi-Town Chica gave me the last installment of the series (so on point).
5. New friendships bring new revelations.

Why I'm Thankful

This week has been major for me and quite frankly, I'm on a Supreme high. Here's why...

1. I'm getting closer to the fulfillment of a promise. 
2. I did 4 miles on the track at Riverside Park this morning without passing out. 
3. Writing is going well. 
4. Queen Bee didn't shot down my idea when I gave it to her. She was extremely supportive. 
5. I'm going to see Toni Morrison tomorrow and I'm super excited! 
6. I didn't see Frederick Douglass at all this past week so, there was no need to hurry about from train to train for fear that he may try to talk to me. 
7. The sun is back out. Glory be! 
8. I feel really comfortable just being me. That isn't always as easy or common sensical as it may seem. 
9. I forgave the Hudson. Progress is good. 
10. I don't care what the calendar says, summer is here!!!!! 

Yep I'm Thankful

1. I went to bed before 10:00 last night. While this prevented me from making the much needed blog entries, I popped up this morning at 4:30 with a spring in my step and I feel super rested. Who knew going to bed before 1a.m. would be so helpful?
2. I'm reading a collection of poems, essays, and speeches by Alice Walker and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. I have apparently, without my noticing, turned into a person who could read about gardening potatoes and allowing cats and dogs to teach us how to love Mother Earth and not want to vomit after doing so. Bowler Boy, I know you will undoubtedly judge my life at news of this, but go ahead. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
3. I'm looking forward to my call with the Silver Fox later today.
4. While I'm saddened by the fact that it's almost Memorial Day and I'm still wearing scarves, I can't ignore the fact that SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE!!!!!
5. Favorite Person I'm having a Code Pink day!!!!!! I love it!!! (Inside joke don't fret if you don't know it LOL)

It's Oh So Long

I've had all sorts of reasons to be thankful, too numerous to count. However, I'll try...

1. Seeing pics of the Tot makes me anticipate my trip home this summer all the more. She is possibly the funniest person I know. Cajun Spice, Condoleezza, and I often run around quoting her. At 30, should we find the sayings of a 3 yr old quotable? 
2. Condoleezza started her LSAT prep classes.  
3. I had a blast this past weekend with Cajun Spice to celebrate her accomplishment! 
4. I spoke to my Loan Officer (childhood loan officer that is) on my way down to Maryland and he is hysterical. Why do I forget how funny he is? I truly thought the Amtrak folks were gonna put me off the train. The poor baby doesn't even realize how funny he is. IMO: that's the best kind of funny to be! 
5. Favorite Person got an iPhone so pictures are coming fast and furious. See what a difference a data package can make? 
6. More wine arrived in the office yesterday and thank the Lord it was only 1 box!!!!!!
7. Apparently TT truly believes she's made of brown sugar. Anything the kids can do to boost their self-esteem I'm all for! 
8. Bowler Boy signed the lease on his 1st solo apartment. After years of being someone's roommate (sometimes randomly chosen from Craigslist) he is finally going to live on his own. It only took crossing an ocean to do so! Free lodging in Europe OWA OWA!!! 
9. In the braid shop last week I watched a Nigerian movie and I do declare they are a bit more entertaining than I'd like to admit (maybe TP should watch and learn). However, I can't figure out why everyone is named after an adjective: Lucky, Happy, Beautiful, etc. Oh and there's a whole series on a character named Beyonce!! 
10. I spoke to the Silver Fox yesterday and each time I tried to get off the phone, he'd say ok and then launch a whole new conversation. Rather than be annoyed, I was actually flattered by it. I don't call him nearly enough. I miss him:-( 

Best Things Today

1. Favorite Person sent me angry emails all day that I thought were he-larry-us. Favorite Person doesn't do a good job of trying to have attitude. I never believe her. Years of her cheerleading have left me cynical that she can actually be attitudinal unprovoked.  
2. I think Favorite Person has a possible subject for an episode of "Snapped" in her licensing class. Apparently, one woman kept asking about felonies and married couples getting life insurance. The lady became excited to learn that you didn't need your spouse's signature to get a policy on them! Yay for accidental cyanide dropping in your red beans!! I guess...
3. As I was typing the last post, I kept hearing banging in the hall. I thought it was the Latin Ike and Tina who live next door to me, but I get a FAIL. It was the fire dept. beating on the door of the elderly couple across the hall. They began to yell out "Fire Department," but it took my neighbors forever and a day to open the door. I opened mine to find 4 firemen in uniform with a sledgehammer and helmets standing in the hall. It was clear beyond their verbal identification who they were, but when my neighbor opened his door he said, "Who are you?!" I tell you no lie. This is all factual. 
4. I dropped clothes off at the cleaners this morning and before walking away from the counter, I checked the pocket on my dress to find cash in it. As I was pulling it out, the employee asked, "Oh is that YOUR money?" Ah, who else would it be for?! 
5. Cajun Spice called to make sure I was prepping myself to leave out on Thursday night or so she claimed. When she began talking, I was able to quickly identify that she was just bored and not concerned in the least bit about my dirty laundry. But after being called out she said, "So! I'm trying to fall asleep and I can't!" Yep, cause that's a good comeback to a friend telling you they know they're being used! 

I'm truly thankful that I had these reasons and more to laugh today. 

Can't Control Yourself (Another Long On)

By now, I'm sure most of you know that last weekend's #1 movie at the box office was "Obsessed," racking in over $28 million for Beyonce and crew. This is the same Beyonce who has barely mastered the King's English. No matter what we think of her, the woman is doing her thing. I don't co-sign on her acting (her or Tyler) or the recycling of a tired plot line, but I'm curious enough to make it a NetFlix pick where I estimate it'll only cost me $2.

Don't be fooled. I'm not a Beyonce hater. On the contrary, I'm a fan. I love that she is working her butt off and trying anything she thinks she may have a talent for (misguided or not). At 27, she has achieved more than most will have achieved in a lifetime. People knock her for the perceived Queen Bee persona and heavily guarded image, but whatever she is doing is working. If she were a stock, I'd buy a few shares.

But this isn't a post to wax at length about the "superstar" that is Beyonce. I'm making this post because of the never satisfied with mediocrity thus, always striving for excellence Beyonce. I saw a clip online from her appearance last week on Larry King Live wherein she said the following, "I feel like I haven't seen the best of myself and the world hasn't seen the best of me." That comment stuck with me. I understand money doesn't mean happiness. Although, having earned $80 million last year alone she could've bought a whole lot of distractions to try to convince herself that she was. Instead it's her quest for excellence that has intrigued me. This is a woman who is known around the world, performed for the President on personal invitation, sold 50 million records worldwide, has a clothing line (I don't co-sign on that either), and has managed to not have the fullness of her life sold for display in the tabloids (Sure her pictures are there and we speculate, but how much do we really know? For the record, I'm fine not knowing.). But with having achieved all of that, she recognizes that she hasn't seen the best of herself. She has her own definition of excellence and success that she's after.

Earlier in the interview, she said she felt as though she was born to sing, then corrected herself and stated she was born to entertain. It's awesome to wake up everyday and do what you were created to do and allow the blessings that flow from that to enable you to change the lives of others (quiet as it's kept, she actually does a bit of philanthropic work).

I was reading Black Enterprise this month and Jill Scott says, "That's how I've wanted to live my life. If it happens to become something financially beneficial, then great. I sing, write, and act because I can't help myself. I love being creative...I want a livelihood that gives me internal pleasure."

I went to college so that I could have a back-up plan in case my dream didn't manifest. I spent so much time planning for the failure of my dream, I never gave my dream an opportunity to succeed. I listened to people tell me what to do to be successful and what was logical. I neglected the things I knew made me happy. I pushed aside and told that part of me that was jumping up and down to express itself that it had to wait until I secured the back-up plan. Ultimately, that led to disappointment and nothing I really call success. And I doubt I'm the only one.

Today marks the end of a complete calendar month that I've maintained this blog. It's been great to get the feedback from others, be it positive or not. Having the people I care about tell me that they care enough to check regularly has meant a lot. I'm still trying to push myself to do more writing and to kick it up a notch. I've gotten started putting myself and my thoughts out for public consumption and opinion, now I can't stop myself. I want to see where else I can take it. The days I didn't make entries, I felt like I'd wasted a day. The days I made entries, no matter what else happened that day, I felt like there was a purpose for me waking up. Yep, that serious.

What can't you help yourself from doing? What's like fire in your bones that you have to let out? I know what it is for me. Now, I'm trying to erase all the reasons I've given myself over the years to not do it and own it. Have you displayed the best of yourself for the world? Can you say how you live is how you always wanted to live? Does your livelihood give you internal pleasure?




Scroll over to 5:41 to hear the referenced comment and spare yourself a lot of stuttering.

The Black Pearl

A little research tonight has informed me that the black pearl is: 

1. Considered to be one of the rarest gems on Earth; 
2. Called black, but its colors range from a light iridescence to a deep midnight black; 
3. Available in a wide range of natural shapes and all are considered desirable and marketable; 
4. Highly valued for its rarity; and (my personal favorite) 
5. Never able to be massed produced because of the culturing process it undergoes

Does any of that sound familiar to you? There are so many messages out there trying to convince me that these attributes don't apply to me and my people. Although we come in a variety of colors, music videos would have me to believe there is only one shade that is desirable and let me tell you, it's not deep midnight black. Corporate America thinks we are a homogeneous herd, and don't understand that a mass marketing plan will never work because we are diverse in our lifestyles, personal histories, passions, career plans, spending habits, etc. Black women are getting T&A implants because they don't realize that what they previously possessed was rare and beautiful.

Because of our creativity, innovation, and overall swag, we've been the victim of unauthorized "borrowing" by other major groups. Burger King is trying to sell me french fries with a rap tune, Elvis and The Beach Boys became legends using music created by brown men, and people like Kim Kardashian's world revolves around the privileges with none of the perceived set backs of being Black.   

Oh well. I'll sleep peacefully tonight knowing that there is no one definition of Blackness, but whatever definition applies to me, I'm grateful for it. There's not another type of pearl I'd rather be. 

What Shall I Say

I shall say that I'm appreciative for all of my experiences (good, bad, or indifferent) and the people placed in my life. More specifically, what shall I say are the reasons I'm grateful today? 

1. I'm accepting the fact that my wisdom is finite which opens me up to gain more from an infinite source. 
2. Favorite Person is exceeding her own expectations, but I knew all along she would. 
3. I told HS that I needed help and He graciously answered my request. 
4. My frustrations with my lack of excellence through the years hasn't deterred me from continuing to strive for it. 
5. I have people in my life who are patient with me. Thanks RF! 
   
   

Thankful

Today's reason are...

1. My dad turned 64 today! 
2. I was pleased with my level of productivity. 
3. Songbird sent me info on an event that supports my passion and I'm thinking about going. 
4. I woke up this morning sincerely elated and the feeling buoyed me throughout the day! 
5. I fought the urge to contact The Sensation.