All The Single Ladies

In church on Sunday we had a fabulous message delivered by guest pastor Phil Pringle of the Christian City Church International entitled "7 Elements of Faith". It was a wonderful message and he is indeed an entertaining man of faith. While his message was insightful and engaging, there was one crossroads in the morning where he inspired a few say what now's or at the very least some shady side eyes. I don't recall now why he asked, but at some point in the service he requested that all the single people stand (please know that I can't utter the phrase single ladies without wanting to wave my hands about). That seemed a simple enough request. But was it?

Apparently, not! Upon his initial request no one stood (including me). After some lighthearted teasing from him and another request, we all stood. Some of us (yep, including me) sheepishly looked around to see who else was standing. For me, it wasn't that I was scanning the room for candidates so much as I was truly nervous about standing and putting my single status on blast. Por que?

Continue ruminating...

Voting Day

I come from a household wherein the parents took their right to vote very seriously. Their voices would not be ignored!!! I think they would vote for American Idol if it required time in a booth at the neighborhood middle school auditorium. They have passed this strong appreciation of the right to vote on to me.

Today was New York City's primary elections for a host of city titles, but the one I was most concerned with was mayor. I'm wanting and waiting for my chance to have someone dethrone Michael-I'm-So-Rich-I-Don't Relate-To-Middleclass-Bloomberg!!!!! I've never quite forgiven him for paying people to do things they were supposed to do anyway like take their kids to the doctor, get a job, etc. Then, he goes and overrides the voice of the people to bypass the term limits that were in place. To say I'm annoyed with this man is a great understatement!!!!! But Bloomy isn't the reason for this post. No, no. This post is about the foolishness that is election day in NYC.

First, I ran into my neighborhood suitor (one of many unqualified for the job) and here's how the convo went:

Overweight and overaged Suitor: Why didn't you go vote today?

Me: I'm on my way to the polls now!

OAOS: Well give me you number!

Me: (With lips pursed and eyes rolled, terrible of me I know) Quit playing with me.

OAOS: I'm saying dough. You just give me your number so we can be friends. What's wrong with that?

Me: (I just continue to walk towards my civic duty wondering what in the h-e-double hockey sticks that has to do with voting)

Secondly, I run into this gentleman pictured below mere feet away from the polling place. He is trying to hand me a flyer about himself, but he is referring to himself in the 3rd person and telling me why they guy on the flyer is a "good man" and should be elected D.A. Does he not know that these glasses indicate I have 2x the vision of the normal person and can see that it is clearly HIM on the freaking flyer? Does he not think I know it's illegal for him to be standing that close to a polling center? The picture was taken as I was leaving the polls and he had some poor man buying into his story. I wanted to snatch that brother and say "Man quit playing. The face on the flyer is the same face speaking to you!"

Then, I get inside the school to vote and the place is empty. In November it was packed with a line wrapped around the corner. You would've sworn they were doing ladies get in free before 11 in there. But today, nope folks could not be bothered.

Lastly, I'm just too through that the democratic process allows for candidates to be on the ballot and receive public finance campaign funds i.e. mine and yours tax dollars who have no real chance of getting elected. This fine fellow right here is Jimmy McMillan. When asked about his occupation in the Voter Guide, he responded with "Founder of the Rent Is Too Damn High Movement." And when asked what he thought was the most important issue in the city he would address, he responded with "Rent is too damn high rent-freeze-rent-reduction-rent-rollback. People must have money to spent." Apparently, his plan for the city would result in a $3 to 6 billion surplus for the city. And he wants some of the Stimulus money. I don't like Bloomy very much these days, but if there was a surplus in the city to be had into the billions, I'm certain he would've found it. Regardless as to your personal feelings about me, do yourself a favor and click the link and check out Jimmy's website PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE click here

Personally, I blame Bloomberg!!!!!

Really, Wall Street

So the greedy Wall Street leeches (too harsh? I think not) have decided to go full throttle with a plan to place bets on the lives of other human beings. They are in the process of coming up with a scheme very similar to the sub-prime mortgage products wherein they buy life insurance policies from the sick and elderly, repackage them, and sell them as investments. They make more money when the policy holder dies than if they live so they have to hope for no cures for Cancer or HIV/AIDS.

The idea of securitizing a product that is meant to care for one's family and final arrangements, and the knowledge that you make the most money when a human life is lost just seems I don't know...WRONG ON ALL LEVELS!!!!! But maybe I over react.

Could someone please explain the upside of this to me because I've read the entire article and nope, I don't don't see the silver lining. Am I missing something?

Check it out for yourself: Wall Street Pursues Profit in Bundles of Life Insurance

Only At The Laundromat

Picture It: A Harlem laundromat this morning around 8:30. I'm folding my clothes when the owner walks over to me. Under any other circumstances physical and ethnic attributes would not be important, but today they are so..

Me: African-American, 30 year old woman rocking a natural hairdo which happens to be an afro that's about 3 inches long.

Owner of Laundromat: Middle-aged Dominican male with a low fade.

He approached and the exchange went like this:

OOL: So what are you going to do with your hair?

Me: Huh?

OOL: What you gonna do with your hair?

Me: Oh, um I don't know. Been thinking of dreads, but for now just the fro.

OOL: You know what you should try?

Me: Naw what's that?

OOL: A relaxer! (Note: he says this like he just dropped some science on me)

Me: Um, yeah naw. I'm gonna stick with the natural.

OOL: No just listen. You can get one of them Rihanna hair styles.

Me: I don't think my style is similar to Rihanna. She's a bit Rock-n-Roll.

OOL: No not one of the Rock-n-Roll styles. Just you know like cut short, but with a relaxer. That would look good on you.

Me: Well if you recall when I first started coming in here I used to have a relaxer and it was cut short like that.

OOL: Yeah, you should do that again. (Nods his head to emphasize his point)

Me: No, I'm gonna stick with what I got.

OOL: So what you trying to be like Rah Digga.

Me: Rah Digga?

OOL: Yeah you know 'I rock rough and tough with my afro puffs.'

Me. No you mean Rage.

OOL: Oooohh yeah! Lady Rage. You trying to do that?

Me: Not exactly. Listen, it's fine. I'll stick with what I got. Maybe I should have combed my hair before I strolled in. Maybe once you see the fro in all it's glory your opinion will be different.

OOL: No. You know you can do one of those relaxers at home with a comb. You just put it on a comb and comb it through your hair. You can do it yourself.

Me: Well the whole point of growing a natural is so I don't use harsh chemicals in my hair. So, yeah no I'm gonna stick with what I got.

OOL: Well ok. You're a nice looking lady but you'd look better with a relaxer. I'm not trying to insult you or nothing though.

Yeeeeppppppp!

Directions to the A

New Yorkers cannot and do not give good directions! I've lived in this city for nearly 6 years and whenever I find myself in unfamiliar territory and ask for directions to the nearest train, no one is able to give accurate concise directions. This is mind blowing to me as I'm always either able to give accurate concise directions or simply tell you I'm not sure and maybe help you figure it out. But nope, I never get that in return.

I was downtown tonight in the East Village having dinner with a rather lovely couple and afterwards it was my intent to walk over to the A train. I forgot about all the crisscrossing streets downtown that prevent me from simply walking straight across westward. By the time I got over by NYU I stopped to ask a man in sunglasses (yep he had dark shades on outside at 9:30PM) and he told me in a rather low weird voice to follow him. My look told him that wasn't an option. He then said, "Walk past the park and turn right." I did as instructed but there was no train. I walked further and asked a gentleman closing up his shop and he told me, "Cross the street and walk up to the corner and turn left." But if I turned left when I got to the corner, I'd be back on the original side of the street I was on when he told me to cross it. Why wouldn't I just stay on that side to begin with?

I did as instructed and still...no train. I saw 2 women walking towards me and I asked them and they looked as though I'd asked for the precise location of Jimmy Hoffa's body. They pointed and I followed their fingers. I next came across an old man who was of no help either. He had given me a litany of instructions and then at the end said, "I believe you better ask someone else cause really I'm not sure." WHAT? I had Pretty Girl on the phone at the time and the tyke heard it all so I promise I tell you no word of lie. Disgusted and dazed I set out determined to not ask another soul and find it on my own.

I'm pleased to report I found the train and it was in the direction of my first inclination. Had I trusted my "gut" I'd have gotten to the train much sooner and without the headache.

But isn't this so true of life? We are often times seeking advice from people who either don't know the way or who just give poor directions. We find ourselves in situations in which decisions need to be made and ask people for their advice and they are ill prepared to give it. A lot of times, their advice has us going in circles, especially advice from random people. And by random I mean we may ask people who don't have things in a particular area we struggle with anymore figured out than we do and we run to them looking for direction. If I want to learn wealth building strategies, why would I consult my broke friends? If I want to know how a man thinks, why would I ask my female friends? If I want to know how an outfit looks, why would I consult my tacky friend? I believe you get the picture.

There is wisdom to be gained from wise counsel, but we must choose carefully who we deem fit for wise counsel. Not every friend is suitable to seek counsel with on all subjects. Pick and choose wisely. But foremost, before seeking the counsel of a friend, maybe just pray about it and see what the architect of all the paths and roads says. He knows better than anyone! He wouldn't have had me walking in circles tonight!!

Truly Tragic

I hate to have to end the holiday on such a note, but I'm saddened by the news of Steve McNair's death. I received a text this afternoon from Cajun Spice informing me of his untimely death but gunshot and it wasn't until I arrived home that I could investigate further. When I first read his name I didn't quickly know who she was talking about. But once she said that it was the football quarterback, I immediately remembered "Air McNair." 

Most Saturdays of my life from junior high through college were spent at a college football game. I rarely attended the games of my Alma mater, LSU, preferring to be at Southern University games. My parents were avid fans, attending both home and away games. I recall being at an SU v. Alcorn game and my parents as well as their friends seemed to be more impressed with Air McNair than they were with the SU QB. In fact that entire afternoon had been spent making predictions on his actions in the upcoming game and afterwards, awe due to his performance. I didn't follow his career consistently, but I knew that he had become somewhat of a legend and had a good rep off the field. 

On the comments page of some sites people have all manner of negative things to say and have begun jumping to random conclusions and assumptions about this man's, whom they never met, life. I'll simply say that no matter the circumstances surrounding his death and regardless of his celebrity or talent, no one should die in such a manner. My prayers are with his wife, children, friends, and extended family. I also wish the family of the young woman who was found along side him peace and privacy in their time of grief. 

I'll restate my comment from earlier, we have the right to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. Live life to the fullest. It is never known when those rights will be taken away be it through the hasty decision of another or simply the body coming to a state of eternal rest too soon. Invest in your life and the lives of others and use each day to pursue things you are passionate about. 

He's Back

Most people who personally know me, know that there exists a man I must pass on the route home from the train station and we'll call him "Baby Love" as that's his name for me. Of course, I neither openly acknowledge nor answer to his call. Well, it seems that Baby Love was missing for a few weeks. Those were happy peaceful weeks. My peaceful walk home has ended and Sugar Hill is now a scary place for a young innocent woman.

Last night as I carried two grocery bags home, Baby Love approached and here's what he said...

"You know you should let me carry those bags home for you. A woman needs a man who will meet her at the train after shopping and carry her bags. One day you are going to be coming home to me. You think I play with your girl. I'm serious what I say." All words must be said with a thick gruff Jamaican accent!

First, I'll never ever come home to him. There is no amount of despair that could drive me there. No laws in the land that would make that permissible and no human who hates me enough to force me to do it. Just not gonna happen. Secondly, this isn't the first time he has expressed contentment to let me come home from a day's work and shopping to bring something home to him! Why? Why? For the love of God why?!

Why Is It Relevant?

The story of the Metro train crash in Washington, D.C. this week is a horrific story. When I first heard of it, I immediately thought the crash was related to signal/switch error. At this present time they are investigating just that. It is evidenced that the train's operator Jeanice McMillan had indeed pressed the emergency brake in an attempt to slow down and stop the computer operated train. Nine people died and 80 were injured. The operator, Ms. McMillan, was a single mother and leaves behind a college-aged son. Why is it relevant and necessary for USA Today to report that the woman had been sued by her apartment complex several times for late payment of rent or to mention that she was financially stretched thin?! Why in God's green Earth is that relevant? Everyone they interviewed had nothing but kind words to say. This is a woman who is at the center of a deadly and tragic accident. But this had nothing to do with her financial situation. Many many many many people function properly on their jobs even while dealing with financial stresses at home. What the pluck?! I just don't understand this. 

USA Today shame on you!!!

I'm Not Buying It

As anyone with a tattoo could tell you, it's not a process you can easily or at all sleep through. This poor young woman says she went into a tattoo parlor requesting 3 stars be placed on the left side of her face, a questionable choice to begin with, and instead fell asleep to awaken to 52 stars. She is now suing the parlor owner. He, of course, maintains that she was awake (which is highly probably) and that she in fact requested the work that was done. It was only after her father and boyfriend saw her face did she complain. 

While I wasn't a witness to this incident nor do I know any party personally, allow me to offer my amateur opinion of the situation. This young woman who is, as most would say, only moderately attractive (Hey I'm just using language the world would use it's not me. I think all people are beautiful) was looking for attention. No one walks around with a belt buckle that says "Sexy" if they aren't looking for attention. She also went in admittedly asking for 3 stars to be placed on her face. I assume this young woman has no aspirations for a career in the corporate world, and if not that's fine. I just wonder what type of aspirations she has for life at all when you request such a blatant label on yourself like that. No one should judge her, least alone based off appearance, but it happens. How we dress and behave sends nonverbal cues to the public about our personality and how we wish to be viewed. 

The fact that she says she slept through the procedure is a bold face lie. I'm not buying it. She needs more people and some lessons in honesty. In order to properly apply a tattoo, the body must be pretty motionless as to avoid any mistakes. No one sleeps sitting upright in a chair without leaning to some degree. She's lying. I said it. Sue me. You won't get anything, but go ahead and try. The shop owner is being quite generous in his offer to pay for half of the removal procedure. 

Let's teach our young women they don't have to go through such extremes to be noticed. They don't have to engage in self-mutilation to feel unique. They are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made without going to extremes to prove it. 

Details of the hot mess...

Russell Simmons Fails Actually So Do We

I swore to myself that by the end of this day, I'd have written 2 chapters of my novel. To do so, I haven't had any communication with the outside world, other than the delivery guy from Wimpy's, since around 9 a.m. Needless to say, I've run into writer's block and my favorite distracting pastime, blog surfing. Tonight, for the first time, I checked out Russell's new web venture, GlobalGrind.com. I was horrified from page 1!

On the home page there is a link that takes you to "TOO HOTT! FOR TV: SCHOOLYARD PUNCH! FEST!" Needless to say I clicked on the link certain that I would find sheer tomfoolery and I was not disappointed. It is over 2 minutes of a schoolyard brawl that starts off between two young girls then spills into an all out "fest" amongst the other young ladies. The scene is being videotaped by some enterprising your men who are all too delighted to be witnessing such a thing. There has to be at least 30 kids out there either witnessing or taking part in this fight. I'm certain there are adults around because people are passing by in cars and they are still on school grounds, yet no one intervenes.

I was expecting there to be some sort of editorial about many of the obvious wrongs present in the clip. There was nothing. It's merely a link to the fight wherein one can find above the video a comment that in part states, "...Crazy! LOL!" Maybe I'm too old to get the humor. Maybe I'm too much a prude to see the entertainment value. Maybe I'm riding a righteous path on a high horse or giving speeches from a soapbox, but I expected someone as socially conscious (supposedly) as grandfather Simmons to promote a higher level of character on his site. But then again, this is a man who doesn't believe there is anything wrong with the current state of hip hop.

I saw that Rev Run has a blog on the site and rushed to his link thinking that he would provide the voice of reasoning. Nope, wrong again. I'm going to learn to stop looking for what I know isn't there. All he offers are trite sayings to motivate people on the most superficial level. Something is wrong when people are able to be successful doing this. I'm not trying to be the dreaded naysayer or hater, but for real?! Really? With generations of unhealthy life cycles and debilitating mindsets we have to overcome, this is what we offer them?

We've all made this too acceptable. We all, yep all of us, get a big fat F-A-I-L!

P.S. I'm not even going into the politics page that talks about First Lady Michelle Obama's "sneaker game." I'm done.

I Need A Reason

I'm hoping she had a nervous breakdown or something because otherwise this mess right here is for the birds. I can't be so bothered with this today! 

My Apologies to Kevahn

Dear Kevahn,

1. I'm sorry that New York magazine decided it was ok to exploit you and publish your story thereby cementing the misbegotten notions you have about how one deservedly garners respect.  
2. My apologies that you have grown up in a society where people esteem you for what you have and not simply because of who you are. 
3. I'm truly sorry you haven't learned that the reasons you should be cherished have nothing to do with the designer clothes you've stolen and done prison time for. 
4. I'm sorry that as a people, African-Americans largely judge their own self-worth on superficial attributes. While I hope your comment to Judge Simpson about her article in The New York Times would help her see that she also perpetuates this mindset, I'm doubtful that it did. 
5. I'm sorry that a mind capable of retaining such facts as yours, and the ease with which you handle Calculus, is being short changed for meaningless pursuits. 

I hope that you make it out of Sing Sing unharmed and that once out, you have some intrusion in your thought process that shows you respect can be attained from some other means than petit larceny.  I apologize for all of the influences in your life that have encouraged your behavior and misconceptions about respect and class. 

Curious about who Kevahn is? Check out The Fashion Thief . 

Maybe It Was Broken

                         

For those of you who truly count me as a friend, you are already well aware of my feelings about the quality of Tyler Perry movies. I respect the man's hustle and dedication, but I'm certain the substance and structure of his movies could be greatly improved. Now in terms of substance I can live with, I have Bishop T. D. Jakes, a man who never fails to amaze me with his wisdom and insight into scripture and it's implications on our culture. Imagine then my surprise when flipping through the pages of my latest Essence magazine (I love MObama but I'm tired of seeing her and her husband on magazine covers), I see an ad for Bishop Jakes' last movie. Please note the seal of approval quote I've cropped out and it's author! I nearly clutched my chest, stumbled backwards and told Elizabeth I was coming to join her. I saw the movie in the theaters and didn't demand my money back like I've wanted to do in a TP flick, but I did think I could've waited until it was on Netflix. Is it possible that by getting an endorsement from TP it was a clear signal that it was already broken? I think Songbird is out to destroy me!!! Explain this HighStepper!!!! 

HighStepper This Is For You

I don't want to be dead, but I don't want to be alive right now after seeing this. I knew if there was one person in this life who could explain this hot fish grease mess to me, it would be you HighStepper! So start explaining...





If anyone else has an explanation I'd like to hear it. Ruminate please. Somebody? Anybody?

Man I wish I still had cable

In general, I'm not a huge fan of reality tv. I nearly loathe it. It takes no creativity, it's a bunch of people trying to be famous, and the people usually end up looking like total arses (I'm glad Bowler Boy and I didn't make it past the 2nd round of interviews for the Real World New Orleans season). However, I make the exception for the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo. I love those women!! My favorites are the wives in Orange County. You better ask somebody.

The Atlanta wives are phony and something about watching Black people make an arse of themselves equals coonery to me. Besides, it's been revealed that most of them are posers anyway. One has been evicted from her home, one needed a staff of people to take care of her 4 member family (she was spending like there was not a recession looming at the time of taping and like her husband wasn't about to retire from the NBA with no real backup plan), another had a "dreadful" fashion line that she was trying to stunt about while she was fronting like her ex-husband was going to give her an 8-figure divorce settlement (in the end she got mere peanuts and claimed to be illiterate), yet another was dumb as all get out and was proud of being a married man's kept woman (great lessons for her daughters), and the last woman was really just guilty of being Keith Sweat's former wife.

Last season, the New York cast bored me each week and made me angry enough to want to toss the tv out my 3rd floor window. But they have redeemed themselves this year with foolishness. If you don't mind losing brain matter, click the link below.

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2009/04/kelly_killoren_bensimon_loses.html

I May Have A Problem

French fries are my favorite snack in the whole wide world. Yes, its that serious! It's the one fast food indulgence I allow myself on a regular basis. I don't do burgers (the occasional lamb or turkey burger notwithstanding), nuggets, hot dogs, street meat, or any of that jazz. So its okay if I have a few french fries every now and again right?

Today I realized I may have a problem and need to find support for said problem. I not only bought french fries today but I seasoned them with Tony Chachere's. Tony's isn't something you can get very easily outside of Louisiana. Each trip home I bring back at least 3 bottles of the stuff (along with assorted meat products). In order to have it on fries at lunch today would mean I keep some in my office. Should this be? Should I have seasoning salt tucked away in my desk? Is there a 12-step program for this? I put this stuff on eggs, in soups, on fries of course, on everything. The only thing I haven't tossed it on is a salad, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time!! Am I worse than the people who carry hot sauce everywhere they go?

I think I'll be alright as long as I don't put it in my purse. Which given the fact that the Indian curry I had in my purse last week spilled all over my wallet and other belongings, I won't be apt to put many food products in there for a while.

Lady Diamond, I got questions!

1. Is Lisa Raye really an actress? I mean really, is she? Doesn't she make the exact same facial expressions and play the exact same role all the time? Is it really acting at that point? 
2. Why does watching Ginuwine dressed for his dance scene make me think about the 70-something year old man in my building who wears his grandson clothes: baggy jeans hung low, baseball cap, over-sized white tee, tons of gold chains and rings on each finger? God please let them be his grandson's clothes! 
3. Why are Ginuwine and Tyrese dressed so differently if they are partners? I watched New York Undercover and Malik Yoba and the Latin dude with the thyroid eyes (Don't act like his eyes weren't bulging. Either he had thyroid issues or he was on that stuff) always dressed in similar style attire and that was always casual. You can't be chasing NYC criminals in a 3-piece suit. Although today's biggest crooks are wearing 3-piece suits and live in penthouses. 
4. Is Ginuwine's officer character a dirty cop? I'm wondering how Lisa Raye can afford Louis Vuitton luggage on a cop's salary because clearly she doesn't work. 
5. What's the explanation for the random guy waiting to shoot Ginuwine? I'm just supposed to believe he was waiting there the whole time in a set-up type situation? I'm going to need them to develop a better story line even if they are on a budget. 

I like Ginuwine really I do. I don't have beef with the lyrics. They beat the standard radio fare these days about booty, tits, sex and booze (thank you T-Pain and R. Kelly for creating that standard). I more than likely will not buy the cd, but I guess its good he's back out there. I believe the face he makes in the opening sums up my opinion on this matter.