It's All True

I just saw a man, who hasn't seen a day under 60 probably years ago, wearing a shirt that said, "I Am Hip-Hop"! I tell you no lie. Someone please go get your grandfather, please!! I wanted to take a picture with my phone but he was walking too fast.

This sort of reminds me of when the Silver Fox started wearing a hat that said "Hustler" or the time he told me that he was a fan of Ludacris' song "I Got H*&s". You know that song. The one where he has young ladies in different area codes. Why? Highstepper? Favorite Person? Cajun Spice? Bronx Bomber? Somebody tell me what's going on with the seniors these days?

I Owe You An Apology

Hi Folks, 

While reading an article on The Times website just now about abandoned blogs, I was immediately struck with conviction. Because I track visits to the site, I can see that I've been getting hits everyday. Thanks so much for your support, but I owe you all an apology. I don't want to take your support of me for granted and that's exactly what I've done. I started out with a bang, making posts daily. But some how some way, my productivity shuttered. Oops. 

On Friday, Part-Time Puerto Rican made a joke about the frequency or infrequency with which I was making posts and it stung a little. I wasn't offended, just had a moment of shame. So often we, no I, start "hobbies" with really great intentions and then, they fizzle. Keep me honest people. If I don't make a post everyday or at least every other day, call or email me and tell me off. I do want to keep this thing going. And unless I explicitly say I'm no longer blogging, then I need to be held accountable. Sad but true, I do!  

Several Questions

I have questions minor and not so minor.

1. Why are we two days shy of June and I'm still in a sweater?
2. Why won't my allergies relent?

Ok now for more serious stuff...

1. Was it really necessary for Secret Service or security, whomever, to carry Brenda Lee away at the airport for just trying to give President Obama a letter? Yes, she could have left when asked, but was it really necessary to embarrass this woman like that?
2. I'll save my anger until all details have been given, but why are police still killing innocent people? This time, they've shot one of their own. A young African-American off-duty plain clothes officer who was described as a "team player" by colleagues was shot last night by a white on-duty plain clothes officer who mistook him for a criminal. The mayor says that additional training is needed and there can never be enough training. Is procedural training really the problem here?
3. Can someone, anyone provide answers?

The Caged Bird's Song

Maya Angelou wrote a book about it. Alicia Keys wrote song about. I've often felt like it. So why does the caged bird sing? This beautifully made creature was in the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. (a whack zoo take my word for it, but you get what you pay for). She sat behind the incredibly visible strings that signaled her boundaries in life. She was created to soar above the fray of life on the ground. She has a robe of gorgeous feathers longing to be seen and appreciated. And she has a song in her heart. There is a ceiling on her life and she knows it. She stretches her wings for flight only to go 2 feet away from her launching point. That has to be frustrating. So indeed, she may sing because the only joy she has comes from releasing her song. 

Ever felt like the caged bird? 

My Apologies to Kevahn

Dear Kevahn,

1. I'm sorry that New York magazine decided it was ok to exploit you and publish your story thereby cementing the misbegotten notions you have about how one deservedly garners respect.  
2. My apologies that you have grown up in a society where people esteem you for what you have and not simply because of who you are. 
3. I'm truly sorry you haven't learned that the reasons you should be cherished have nothing to do with the designer clothes you've stolen and done prison time for. 
4. I'm sorry that as a people, African-Americans largely judge their own self-worth on superficial attributes. While I hope your comment to Judge Simpson about her article in The New York Times would help her see that she also perpetuates this mindset, I'm doubtful that it did. 
5. I'm sorry that a mind capable of retaining such facts as yours, and the ease with which you handle Calculus, is being short changed for meaningless pursuits. 

I hope that you make it out of Sing Sing unharmed and that once out, you have some intrusion in your thought process that shows you respect can be attained from some other means than petit larceny.  I apologize for all of the influences in your life that have encouraged your behavior and misconceptions about respect and class. 

Curious about who Kevahn is? Check out The Fashion Thief . 

Maybe It Was Broken

                         

For those of you who truly count me as a friend, you are already well aware of my feelings about the quality of Tyler Perry movies. I respect the man's hustle and dedication, but I'm certain the substance and structure of his movies could be greatly improved. Now in terms of substance I can live with, I have Bishop T. D. Jakes, a man who never fails to amaze me with his wisdom and insight into scripture and it's implications on our culture. Imagine then my surprise when flipping through the pages of my latest Essence magazine (I love MObama but I'm tired of seeing her and her husband on magazine covers), I see an ad for Bishop Jakes' last movie. Please note the seal of approval quote I've cropped out and it's author! I nearly clutched my chest, stumbled backwards and told Elizabeth I was coming to join her. I saw the movie in the theaters and didn't demand my money back like I've wanted to do in a TP flick, but I did think I could've waited until it was on Netflix. Is it possible that by getting an endorsement from TP it was a clear signal that it was already broken? I think Songbird is out to destroy me!!! Explain this HighStepper!!!! 

Where I'm Supposed To Be

It was taught to me that God has a plan and a path for all of us. However, because of our ability to think and make decisions for ourselves (free will), we sometimes make choices that take us off that path. But through God's grace and mercy, He continues to try to guide us back to the intended path. Sometimes we make it, sometimes don't. How do you know you aren't on the right path? I think because you begin to face a steady stream of opposition. Not that there isn't opposition along the path God intended, but it just feels different. And, it's unnecessary.

After having an awesome evening last night, see thankful points below, I went to bed with a smile on my face. That smile turned into a scowl by morning. This morning I woke up with a splitting headache from sinus pressure and because my head hurt so badly, I had a nauseating stomachache. I'd decided to stay home and not go into the office because I just couldn't bring myself to get up and dressed. I wanted nothing more than to lay in bed all day. But I wouldn't be possible. There was work to be done and something inside of me kept telling me to get dressed and go into the office. I refused. The inner nagging wouldn't relent.

Around noon, I started receiving a flood of emails from my co-workers requesting things that could only be done from the office. Great, now I'm forced to go in. I didn't bother trying to look professional in any slight way nor did I do much with my hair. I threw some oil on it and bounced. Yep, just like that! I arrived at the train platform and shortly thereafter an express train pulled up. Maybe my good luck for the day was starting. Maybe this was a sign that the day would get better. I was hopeful, but I was also wrong!!!

The train pulled in but there was a full 5 minutes before the doors would open. Apparently, there was a police investigation to be had and they couldn't open the doors until it was completed. Once the doors were finally opened I get on and grab a seat quickly and think to myself that this may be the day's turning point. I was yet again hopeful and yet again wrong. Ever had that happen? Ever feel like something is your turning point to something good and then, nope nothing nada?!

Once the train pulls off there is a woman yelling at a man, a total stranger, and telling him that she was going to start a fire right there on the train. She threatened him and told him to step off the train so they could fight. Since the train was moving along the tracks I was wondering where said fight would be held. But that's a silly minor detail I suppose. She, a proud Puerto Rican, told the gentleman, a proud Dominican, that he was half a person. He was a mutt really and that she was pure. She paced up and down the train car continuing to threaten this man and create disruptions in the car. I envied for a brief moment the passengers in the other cars, but decided against because who knows, they may have had a bum stinking up their car. So which would be better? A belligerent pregnant woman, yep she was pregnant? Or a bum wearing the fragrance of 20 day old body juices and NYC funk?

She continued to harass this man until she found a new victim. I was tempted to pull out my Bible (I was headed to Bible Study after work) and hit her over the head with it. I was so annoyed by this woman until she said something that saddened me. When someone threatened to call the police on her, this was her response, "Call the police. They aren't going to do anything. Like I called the police when I was raped on the train and they did nothing. So call them. Yeah go ahead call them." I had moved from annoyance to acceptance. Not acceptance of her reckless behavior, but acceptance of her as a human. She was a hurt woman acting out. She had been raped on a train and possibly being beaten because she had papers for an order of protection in her hands. She was pregnant and possibly wasn't expecting support from the child's father. She'd mentioned that he was Dominican and that he wasn't any good and that the Dominican man on the train was probably the same. So I think my assumption about her not counting on support from him is correct. But nevertheless she needed help. I felt the need to pray for her. Actually, I felt the need to reach out to her, but I was afraid. I didn't want to look foolish so I did nothing.

I wasn't where I was supposed to be by staying home and not being at work therefore, all these things popped up relating to work that needed my attention and I had to go in to be where I needed to be. If I had been there I wouldn't have seen the lady on the train and have to sit through that madness from 145th Street all the way to 59th Street. That's a long way to listen to an ill person rant and make threats. But then, I wasn't in the right place when I stayed in my seat and didn't offer her any help.

So did I cross paths with this woman so I could have been the one person who showed her compassion? Which would mean that I was right not to go in when I was supposed to? Or did I have to sit through all of that simply because I wasn't at work at the time I was supposed to be? I don't know.

I got to work and more emails and calls of annoyance came through and I was convinced that the devil was trying his best to take me down today. But in all of this, there is reason to be thankful:

1. I learned that if I carefully listen to another person, I just might hear something to alter my perception and become more compassionate. I think we suffer from a lack of compassion as a society. I was reminded that most people aren't just trying to make life miserable, but rather they are reacting to what they see as the misery in their own lives.

2. That a friend thought enough of me to ask me along with her on a doctor's visit for comfort (or so I believe that's why I was asked).

3. Any of the fires that were simmering at work this morning were easily extinguished once I got into the office.

4. There is a place I know I can go every Thursday to be surrounded by people who are open, honest, and caring. When you've had a rocky day sometimes you just want someone to pat your back and tell you it's alright. And you don't all the time want to explain what made the day rocky. So I can go to this place and these people offer the pat on the back regardless.

5. I came home excited about God and talked about Him boldly on the entire commute without feeling like I had to lower my voice as to not offend anyone.

Man I wish I still had cable

In general, I'm not a huge fan of reality tv. I nearly loathe it. It takes no creativity, it's a bunch of people trying to be famous, and the people usually end up looking like total arses (I'm glad Bowler Boy and I didn't make it past the 2nd round of interviews for the Real World New Orleans season). However, I make the exception for the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo. I love those women!! My favorites are the wives in Orange County. You better ask somebody.

The Atlanta wives are phony and something about watching Black people make an arse of themselves equals coonery to me. Besides, it's been revealed that most of them are posers anyway. One has been evicted from her home, one needed a staff of people to take care of her 4 member family (she was spending like there was not a recession looming at the time of taping and like her husband wasn't about to retire from the NBA with no real backup plan), another had a "dreadful" fashion line that she was trying to stunt about while she was fronting like her ex-husband was going to give her an 8-figure divorce settlement (in the end she got mere peanuts and claimed to be illiterate), yet another was dumb as all get out and was proud of being a married man's kept woman (great lessons for her daughters), and the last woman was really just guilty of being Keith Sweat's former wife.

Last season, the New York cast bored me each week and made me angry enough to want to toss the tv out my 3rd floor window. But they have redeemed themselves this year with foolishness. If you don't mind losing brain matter, click the link below.

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2009/04/kelly_killoren_bensimon_loses.html

I May Have A Problem

French fries are my favorite snack in the whole wide world. Yes, its that serious! It's the one fast food indulgence I allow myself on a regular basis. I don't do burgers (the occasional lamb or turkey burger notwithstanding), nuggets, hot dogs, street meat, or any of that jazz. So its okay if I have a few french fries every now and again right?

Today I realized I may have a problem and need to find support for said problem. I not only bought french fries today but I seasoned them with Tony Chachere's. Tony's isn't something you can get very easily outside of Louisiana. Each trip home I bring back at least 3 bottles of the stuff (along with assorted meat products). In order to have it on fries at lunch today would mean I keep some in my office. Should this be? Should I have seasoning salt tucked away in my desk? Is there a 12-step program for this? I put this stuff on eggs, in soups, on fries of course, on everything. The only thing I haven't tossed it on is a salad, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time!! Am I worse than the people who carry hot sauce everywhere they go?

I think I'll be alright as long as I don't put it in my purse. Which given the fact that the Indian curry I had in my purse last week spilled all over my wallet and other belongings, I won't be apt to put many food products in there for a while.

More Than Just A Crazy Cousin

Reading through the news yesterday I came across two truly disturbing stories. One involves a young man, age 23, who murdered two of his younger sisters in their Massachusetts home while their grandmother was in the basement doing laundry. He stabbed his 17 year old sister to death and was decapitating the 5 year old when the police busted in and killed him.  His parents have decided to bury all 3 together. Another sister, 9 years old, is in the hospital recovering from her wounds. In the second story, a 32 year old man here in NYC has been ruled unfit for trial after stabbing a police officer in the eye. This gentleman is unfit because he is a paranoid schizophrenic. My people my people.

In the case of the brother killing his sisters, a family friend claimed that there was nothing to indicate that he was capable of doing something like this. I find this hard to believe. No one wakes up one morning completely out the blue without showing any signs of distress ever before and starts to slaughter their kin. It was reported that the young man had attacked another sister a few years back by punching her in the face in an argument over a phone bill. And he had been arrested for carrying a weapon in another incident. Does this really sound like the poster child for the Boy Scouts of America? 

The paranoid schizophrenic had a long history of mental illness. He'd been "bouncing in and out of psych wards" for the past 9 years. He wouldn't take his anti-psychotic drugs as prescribed and he would sometimes set small fires and threaten his neighbors. 

On one hand you possibly have parents who willfully failed to admit to themselves that a child they'd raised was truly disturbed as though it was a reflection of their parenting. Sometimes the worst things happen to the best people and it's no reflection on their character.  Punching your sister, or anyone, in the face over a phone bill is a bit extreme. His prior arrests on other charges coupled with the phone incident let's you know there was clear indication that big trouble was brewing. The other story was a situation in which the family and authorities knew this man was imbalanced, but there seemed to be little done to contain the illness he suffered from. 

Minorities are less likely to admit that they are suffering from some sort of mental illness for fear of being seen as weak or that getting mental help is not a Black or Latino thing to do. Getting help for yourself or your family member is ALWAYS the thing to do no matter what racial group you're a member of. We have to stop looking at family members who clearly need help and shrugging them off by saying "Oh that's just crazy cousin so and so. You know they get loose sometimes." STOP SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT. What are you going to say for yourself if crazy cousin so and so kills himself or attempts to kill someone else? And sadly, too often some family's crazy cousin has killed someone. 

We have to take the fear and shame out of mental illness and attack it like we would diabetes, heart disease, or HIV/AIDS. Oh but wait, I forgot, we aren't attacking those things as vigilantly as we need to either.