Turns Out Life Has Consequences

Oh New York!! It's a city with no secrets. No secrets because New Yorkers openly discuss their most intimate thoughts and experiences out loud for any and everyone to hear. There is no such thing as using an "inside voice." Growing up if I spoke at the volume of most New Yorkers some adult in my life would ask if I was raised in a barn or if I had a problem. I would then be met with a glance of annoyance. Ah, the teaching of home training. It's a lost art these days.

In my office building on one of the floors above mine, there is a call center of some sort. The employees are interesting and leave much to be desired in the area of basic decorum. Since I exit the elevators before them, I'm always privy to conversations I never want to be witness to or believe even exist. This morning I overheard one of those conversations.

As I approached the elevator I saw approximately 4 people from the call center (they are easily identifiable). Here is what was said by one of the women:

"They keep saying they only want people without a record on this new project. I'm like damn! What they want me to do? So I slapped the lady in the rent office and I got arrested for that and I got evicted. I went to court and everything. I got probation. So I slapped her and got evicted. Isn't the eviction payment enough? They tripping about this record stuff. I don't see what this even has to do with the project. They ain't got nothing to do with one another."

Her friends/co-workers nodded in agreement. Let me see how best I can say this: LIFE HAS CONSEQUENCES PEOPLE!!!! If I spend my paycheck and never pay bills, the consequence of that is I end up homeless and hungry. If I eat really recklessly and never exercise, I can expect to gain weight and have poor health. And turns out if I get violent with someone and get arrested, I will have a record. And because I have a record, I have to realize there will be some opportunities I can't take advantage of.

I do believe some people end up with records unnecessarily. I also believe that if you've done the time and repaid your debt to society then, you should be allowed a second chance to prove that you can be a productive law abiding citizen. I don't believe that a person should be condemned the rest of their life for a poor past decision (we've all made bad choices at some point). BUT, I do believe that those persons should realize that their poor choices (she didn't accidentally slap the woman) could result in some consequences that won't be pleasant. There will be things in life that you'll have to realize you blew your chance on. It sucks (not really) but it's life.

I think my biggest problem was that it didn't sound as though she thought anything was wrong with a grown woman slapping someone nor did she seem to be remorseful or take ownership of HER lapse in judgment. That she was annoyed that her employer wouldn't put her on a project that required a clean criminal record indicated to me that they have policies in place and she can't refute their policies. Plus, maybe her behavior on past projects didn't prove that she could be trusted with the level of responsibility that the new project would require.

Plain and simple, every action has a reaction. If you are tired of the reactions you are getting, change your actions. There are consequences (both positive and negative) to every thing we do.

Only At The Laundromat

Picture It: A Harlem laundromat this morning around 8:30. I'm folding my clothes when the owner walks over to me. Under any other circumstances physical and ethnic attributes would not be important, but today they are so..

Me: African-American, 30 year old woman rocking a natural hairdo which happens to be an afro that's about 3 inches long.

Owner of Laundromat: Middle-aged Dominican male with a low fade.

He approached and the exchange went like this:

OOL: So what are you going to do with your hair?

Me: Huh?

OOL: What you gonna do with your hair?

Me: Oh, um I don't know. Been thinking of dreads, but for now just the fro.

OOL: You know what you should try?

Me: Naw what's that?

OOL: A relaxer! (Note: he says this like he just dropped some science on me)

Me: Um, yeah naw. I'm gonna stick with the natural.

OOL: No just listen. You can get one of them Rihanna hair styles.

Me: I don't think my style is similar to Rihanna. She's a bit Rock-n-Roll.

OOL: No not one of the Rock-n-Roll styles. Just you know like cut short, but with a relaxer. That would look good on you.

Me: Well if you recall when I first started coming in here I used to have a relaxer and it was cut short like that.

OOL: Yeah, you should do that again. (Nods his head to emphasize his point)

Me: No, I'm gonna stick with what I got.

OOL: So what you trying to be like Rah Digga.

Me: Rah Digga?

OOL: Yeah you know 'I rock rough and tough with my afro puffs.'

Me. No you mean Rage.

OOL: Oooohh yeah! Lady Rage. You trying to do that?

Me: Not exactly. Listen, it's fine. I'll stick with what I got. Maybe I should have combed my hair before I strolled in. Maybe once you see the fro in all it's glory your opinion will be different.

OOL: No. You know you can do one of those relaxers at home with a comb. You just put it on a comb and comb it through your hair. You can do it yourself.

Me: Well the whole point of growing a natural is so I don't use harsh chemicals in my hair. So, yeah no I'm gonna stick with what I got.

OOL: Well ok. You're a nice looking lady but you'd look better with a relaxer. I'm not trying to insult you or nothing though.

Yeeeeppppppp!

Do People Ever Get Tired Of This

While I'm not surprised at all that there are individuals in the world who see attacking an 11 year old child with ignorant racial slurs an alright thing to do, I'm amazed that they are so bold in doing so. Or I guess not because most people can be thugs over the Internet. Just once I'd like to see someone sign a comments section with their real name and email address.

Malia Obama was seen in Russia wearing 2 t-shirts with peace signs on them. Radical Republican media sources have used this as an opportunity to spread hate. They have accused this CHILD of sending secret messages and being a propaganda tool for her father while calling her and her family not so nice names in the process.

I have never prior to Jan 20, 2009 heard people complain so much about a First Family. How many trips did Bush and his family (either Bush) take while in office? How much did Nancy Reagan spend on clothing and furnishings in the White House? Did anyone care? Let's be clear, the Obamas had a comfortable life well before coming into the national mindshare and dare I say if the world fell apart tomorrow and he were no longer President, they would manage just fine with the 4 Ivy League degrees between he and his wife. As for the children, they wear whatever trends are being sold in the stores and promoted by their favorite tween/teen stars. Really people, if she were sending subliminal messages via her wardrobe, is the message of peace a bad idea? I refuse to take the Republican extremists seriously.

Read more here and here

I'm Not Buying It

As anyone with a tattoo could tell you, it's not a process you can easily or at all sleep through. This poor young woman says she went into a tattoo parlor requesting 3 stars be placed on the left side of her face, a questionable choice to begin with, and instead fell asleep to awaken to 52 stars. She is now suing the parlor owner. He, of course, maintains that she was awake (which is highly probably) and that she in fact requested the work that was done. It was only after her father and boyfriend saw her face did she complain. 

While I wasn't a witness to this incident nor do I know any party personally, allow me to offer my amateur opinion of the situation. This young woman who is, as most would say, only moderately attractive (Hey I'm just using language the world would use it's not me. I think all people are beautiful) was looking for attention. No one walks around with a belt buckle that says "Sexy" if they aren't looking for attention. She also went in admittedly asking for 3 stars to be placed on her face. I assume this young woman has no aspirations for a career in the corporate world, and if not that's fine. I just wonder what type of aspirations she has for life at all when you request such a blatant label on yourself like that. No one should judge her, least alone based off appearance, but it happens. How we dress and behave sends nonverbal cues to the public about our personality and how we wish to be viewed. 

The fact that she says she slept through the procedure is a bold face lie. I'm not buying it. She needs more people and some lessons in honesty. In order to properly apply a tattoo, the body must be pretty motionless as to avoid any mistakes. No one sleeps sitting upright in a chair without leaning to some degree. She's lying. I said it. Sue me. You won't get anything, but go ahead and try. The shop owner is being quite generous in his offer to pay for half of the removal procedure. 

Let's teach our young women they don't have to go through such extremes to be noticed. They don't have to engage in self-mutilation to feel unique. They are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made without going to extremes to prove it. 

Details of the hot mess...

Russell Simmons Fails Actually So Do We

I swore to myself that by the end of this day, I'd have written 2 chapters of my novel. To do so, I haven't had any communication with the outside world, other than the delivery guy from Wimpy's, since around 9 a.m. Needless to say, I've run into writer's block and my favorite distracting pastime, blog surfing. Tonight, for the first time, I checked out Russell's new web venture, GlobalGrind.com. I was horrified from page 1!

On the home page there is a link that takes you to "TOO HOTT! FOR TV: SCHOOLYARD PUNCH! FEST!" Needless to say I clicked on the link certain that I would find sheer tomfoolery and I was not disappointed. It is over 2 minutes of a schoolyard brawl that starts off between two young girls then spills into an all out "fest" amongst the other young ladies. The scene is being videotaped by some enterprising your men who are all too delighted to be witnessing such a thing. There has to be at least 30 kids out there either witnessing or taking part in this fight. I'm certain there are adults around because people are passing by in cars and they are still on school grounds, yet no one intervenes.

I was expecting there to be some sort of editorial about many of the obvious wrongs present in the clip. There was nothing. It's merely a link to the fight wherein one can find above the video a comment that in part states, "...Crazy! LOL!" Maybe I'm too old to get the humor. Maybe I'm too much a prude to see the entertainment value. Maybe I'm riding a righteous path on a high horse or giving speeches from a soapbox, but I expected someone as socially conscious (supposedly) as grandfather Simmons to promote a higher level of character on his site. But then again, this is a man who doesn't believe there is anything wrong with the current state of hip hop.

I saw that Rev Run has a blog on the site and rushed to his link thinking that he would provide the voice of reasoning. Nope, wrong again. I'm going to learn to stop looking for what I know isn't there. All he offers are trite sayings to motivate people on the most superficial level. Something is wrong when people are able to be successful doing this. I'm not trying to be the dreaded naysayer or hater, but for real?! Really? With generations of unhealthy life cycles and debilitating mindsets we have to overcome, this is what we offer them?

We've all made this too acceptable. We all, yep all of us, get a big fat F-A-I-L!

P.S. I'm not even going into the politics page that talks about First Lady Michelle Obama's "sneaker game." I'm done.

Worst Thing I Heard ALL Year

Picture it: New York City, 2009, 34th Street and Broadway. I'm walking to the D train as I try to explain to The Scratcher why my inability to bypass the Mrs. Fields cookie shop really isn't my fault, I overhear.....

"But see me, I never robbed nobody who was regular. I only robbed drug dealers. Why I would rob you and you gotta go to work and get a check? I may as rob the Ni**a who ain't doing nothing for the community anyway!" 

And yes, the person he was talking to was nodding in agreement and delivering the obligatory "Yep. Yep. That's right."