This Christmas I was set free. Free to pursue the things that really matter. Free to determine who will be in the inner and outer courts of my life. Free to imagine and manifest the type of life I was created to have. And most importantly, free to be the woman I was created to be. In truth, this process of liberation started quite some time ago.
Continue ruminating....
It began in small earnest strides in '07 when I determined in my heart that I would no longer think depression and anxiety had to be regular acquaintances. It was pushed a little further when, after two previous attempts to rock my hair in its beautiful natural glory collasped under the weight of self- consciousness, I said "screw that" to any little nagging inner voice of doubt or outer concerned voices of friends or family who had an opinion one way or the other. Liberty began to cartwell into my life when I began to not refer to myself as a paralegal/communications associate (that title was only what paid the bills, it wasn't who I was created to be) and acknowledged that I was a writer/life coach/advocate/server/all around creative.
Subconscious enslavement took a nosedive off a cliff when I discovered my life's purpose. But that still didn't mark the final blow. Victory wasn't victory just because I lived to see another day. Nope, victory was when I stood up, looked down upon what tried to destroy me, dusted off the residue, and eagerly faced the next challenge knowing that whatever it was, I'd survive it as well.
How do I know I'll survive? Easiest questioned I've been asked all year: I'll survive because I truly know me. I see myself as I've always been, but with fresh eyes and a new boldness to not stiffle myself nor twist and contort myself into the mold that someone else thinks is more fitting (usually because it makes them feel more comfortable and less threatened).
As this year draws to a close, I eagerly anticipate 2010 to be a year of continued growth. More self-discovery and awareness of the world around me. I'm entering this coming year stronger than I've ever been. As I invest in myself, I make myself more valuable to others. I can be me and being me is a great service to all of those I come in contact with because I'm not pretending to be something I'm not. I'm not hiding the best of me feeling like folks won't understand or accept me. I'm understood, accepted, and loved by THE ALMIGHTY and that's enough. Plus, because He loves me and has shown me how to properly love me, He brings people into my life who will do the same. Of course, they will be added to the already great group of people who have loved and supported me throughout the process. Christmas wasn't one day on a calendar for me. I've been given the gift of process and revelation which have made "more Christ" evident in my life and that happens daily!
1 comment:
This post has the voice and spirit of a liberated being, and in your case a liberated woman. This is hot! I look forward to the sound of your liberated voice and the content your liberated being will produce for readers of your blog to enjoy and to be inspired by (and dare I say even transformed by). What an entrance into 2010!
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